Poll:

NONPAYMENT AS EXCEPTION?    
    
Sari M. Friedman, the general counsel for the Fathers Rights Association of New York State & Fathers Rights Association of Long Island, said the poll results are not indicative of what she sees.  Friedman said most noncustodial parents are paying to child support.  If they are not, Friedman said, it could be because they do not have a job or an income that the state can garnish for child support. Also, some circumstances make it difficult for the noncustodial parent to pay.

Perhaps the noncustodial parent had a higher income when the divorce decree was signed and can no longer make the payments. Sometimes, Friedman said, if the noncustodial parent owns a business, the state can’t see all of the income earned, and the amount ordered is inaccurate.  “People are always exaggerating their side. And sometimes the truth may fall somewhere,” Friedman said. “It is up for the judge to believe someone and decide what to order.”     

There are many possible scenarios that force a noncustodial parent into the trap of not making child support payments, and once it starts, it may become an endless cycle, she said.  “And then it becomes like a rat on a wheel, and the arrears add up,” Friedman said.      

Jeffrey Leving, a Chicago attorney who specializes in representing fathers in custody cases, believes most noncustodial parents pay their child support. Leving is the author of two books, “Fathers’ Rights,” and “Divorce Wars.” He also co-authored the Illinois Joint Custody Law, and he gave testimony before both branches of the Illinois Legislature on Joint Custody, Grandparent's Visitation and Child Support Accountability bills. 

He cautions that while nonpayment exists, it is also not solely a women’s issue. “Basically what I see is that custodial parents, whether they are mothers or fathers, both have issues with nonpayment of support,” Leving said. “Nonpayment of support is not gender-specific.”          

Leving said he thinks some parents don’t pay child support because they tie their payments to the amount of visitation they are getting. Though support and custody are separate entities, he said it is hard for some people to look at them that way. “One parent uses the children as tools to negotiate and tools for revenge, and the other parent uses his income,” Leving said. “Even parents who love their children do this, and they don’t realize it. They are just so caught up in the divorce.”        

He said that parents who have more contact with their children are more likely to pay support. However, the process of divorce becomes so adversarial, that is difficult to negotiate. “To correct these problems, you really have to use honey before vinegar,” Leving said.  “And if you use honey first, you won’t have to get to the vinegar.”         

And if the honey and vinegar don’t work, “They better get a very skilled attorney,” Leving said.  He said custodial parents must find an attorney trained in marital law who is willing to be dogged and creative because it is very difficult to get a noncustodial parent’s financial information. “It’s not easy to collect support if the noncustodial parent is not going to pay and instead fight you,” Leving said.