Tips to Consider when Separating

6. Don’t second guess the process. 
“Do you even have grounds for divorce? Have you lived in your state long enough to meet the residency requirements? These are important questions you need to ask an attorney BEFORE you tell your spouse you are leaving,” says Mark Guralnick, a veteran divorce attorney licensed to practice in seven states and four countries. He is also author of six books on divorce. “Spending time with a lawyer will enable you to negotiate with your spouse more knowledgeably.”

7.  Accept the change.
No matter how you cut it, one-half of something is not greater than the original sum. “Mentally prepare to adjust your lifestyle following divorce,” advises Steve Rhode, President of Myvesta.org, a non-profit consumer debt assistance service. “When two people split there is often a change in the financial power of each newly separated spouse.”
 
8. Do watch the money.
“When you know separation is in the near future, think about dividing any cash available into separate sole accounts,” says Rhode.  “I just had a client last week where the wife cleaned out the joint account before she left.” Separating the money, or at least starting an individual bank account with your next paycheck can contain your losses. If your spouse does clean you out, keep a journal and bank records to show to the judge later. Most courts accept journals as evidence which can help your case dramatically. It can also help your memory if you have to take the stand in court. 

9. Do collect vital information.
“Inventory all debts; margin investment accounts, credit cards, auto loans, auto leases, personal loans, loans made to others,” says Thomas Duffy, CFP and president of Jersey Shore Financial Advisors, LLC. “Also get copies of credit reports on both spouses; credit card statements for last few years showing spending patterns for each; copies of tax returns for last two to three years; pay stubs for last several months; detailed employment history for both spouses indicating benefits such as deferred compensation, healthcare in retirement or other retiree benefits. “For contested split-ups photographic evidence, for example videotape, of hard assets, detailed records showing large and or unusual asset movements, withdrawals etc., need to be gathered too,” he says.