Solution Lady: Fear of Separation in Divorce

Some of us experience great fear when we separate from our partner. Use these steps to act despite of your fear. Have a clearly laid out map so that you know exactly where your going. Without a map of where you want to go, you can easily get lost…

So, do what you need to do to draw steps or a clearly laid out plan to help you deal with your separation. Follow this map one step at a time. Just like when your on a major highway, you must follow the map to get to where you want to go, it’s the same with being newly separated. If you’re afraid, following the map will help you.
 
Eliminate all distractions. Just like while driving the 401 Express in Toronto, you can easily get distracted by all the other cars and the sights. Focus on what’s in front of you, put some blinders on if you have to at the beginning, do only what you need to do to get yourself through this.

Find or follow someone who’s gone through this before. Again, I’ll use the analogy of the major highway. If you follow someone else who knows where they’re going, especially at the beginning, the distractions will soon disapear, the fear won’t be as big, and you will start relaxing more when you get to where you want to be. If no one offers you support, ask someone, anyone for help.

If you have no idea where you’re going, don’t think just anyone is going to ask you if they can help you. It certainly can happen, but chances are you will have to get out of your comfort  zone and ask someone’s help and that’s okay. Learning to be an awesome receiver is just as great as being a great giver.



Linda G. Robert M.A., M.Ed., is known as The Solution Lady for personal, self-care, wellness and life solutions. She's worked in the mental health field and education field for several years as well as in law enforcement. Find out more about her at www.lindarobert.ca. Check out her newest booklet at http://www.myarticles.thesolutionlady.com/index.html.