Children Don't Like New Partner?

13 TIPS FOR PARENTS WHO ARE DATING OR REMARRYING

Emily Ryan Smith, a social worker in Mobile, Ala., offers advice for when your children don't like your new significant other:

1. Discuss it with your ex-spouse. "If possible, co-parent with the biological parent in order to ease the transition. Set aside your emotions about your ex-spouse and focus on the child."

2. Look to other family members for help. "Seek out added support for the children. Now is a good time for them to be in contact with supportive family members from both sides (paternal and maternal)."

3. Tell your children how special they are to you. "Reassure the children that they will continue to be loved and that they can not be replaced."

4. Spend time asking your children about how they feel. "Set aside time to talk with your child."

5. When you do talk to your children, don't interrupt. Pay extra attention. "Practice active listening skills so that you really hear your child. You do not have to agree with the child, but this time is for listening and understanding his or her feelings."

6. Spend time doing fun things with your children, without your new spouse. "Make time to spend alone with your child."

7. Ask your kids to talk with friends at school whose parents are divorced. "Encourage your teenager to find a peer support group."

8. Check at your children's school for more information and support. "Talk with you child’s school social worker for group referrals."

9. If remarrying, ask your children for opinions and let them in on the fun of planning your wedding. "Involve your child, if they are comfortable, in making wedding plans."

10. Read books and brochures about the issue. "Seek out literature on blended families."

11. Talk to others about it. "Seek out parent support or educational groups."

12. If something is going wrong in your relationship, do something about it. Your children's ideas about relationships and seeing yours now might affect their future relationships. "If you are being mistreated by your partner seek help. Remember, you are serving as a role model for your child."

13. Take your children to therapy. "If your child appears 'stuck' in the grieving cycle and continues to have difficulty adjusting, seek advice from a professional therapist."  

Krystle Russin is a freelance journalist in Austin, Texas. She graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in government (pre-law), and minors in journalism and history.