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Getting Through to Anybody: Happy Second Marriage


Getting Through to Anybody: Happy Second Marriage


Marry Someone whose Ex-Spouse Was So Awful They Feel Lucky to Have You


By MARK GOULSTON

    I know a married couple for whom this is both their second marriage. They have been married for six years and have not had one argument, even though both had been divorced before. When I asked them their secret they say, "Marry someone whose ex-spouse was so awful that the worst thing you do, doesn't even register on the radar screen."

They did admit that they have disagreements, but just before it is about to escalate into an argument, they each get flashbacks of the tongue lashing (and worse, abuse) they so often received from their former spouses before they got a divorce.


When I asked them how they were so lucky to find each other, they replied almost simultaneously, with a chuckle, "Seek out people who are much easier to please than then are to upset (a.k.a. "low maintenance") and just say 'No' to the ones who are easier to upset than they are to please (a.k.a. "high maintenance").


(c) 2008 Mark Goulston, http://markgoulston.com

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a well-known psychiatrist, speaker, business trainer and coach as well as author of "Get Out of Your Own Way at Work."  He writes a regular column, "Getting through to Anybody," for divorce360. He can be reached at mgoulston@markgoulston.com.




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