Starting the Year with Divorce

     New year, new life, Bonnie Russell thought. So she jumped at the chance to quickly finalize her divorce from her husband one January.            

“Emotionally, he got me right at the right time. I was very excited about shedding a 195 pound problem,” said Russell, who operates www.familylawcourts.com, a website that explores issues facing the family court system.            

Her attorney had recommended a bifurcated divorce, which speeds the finality of divorce before all of the financial or custody issues are negotiated. Russell said that in hindsight, agreeing to the bifurcated divorce just to rush the process was not the best move. Instead, she said, she should have taken the time to complete the negotiations before finalizing the divorce.            

Russell is not alone, however. January can be one of the most popular months for divorce. The increased filings might be in response to the call to self-improve at the beginning of the year, Russell said. “People want  to do something. It might be the wrong thing, but they want to do something,” Russell said. “They just want to feel like they’re making progress. Emotionally they need to do something.”            

She hopes people use her experience as a cautionary tale. Instead of trying to move forward on a life change in January, she recommends slowing down. ““A diet is a slow process, and a divorce should be one, too."

Russell advises moving ahead in the divorce or separation, but in small increments. Consider the ramifications of the break-up before making big changes, she said. Get space to breathe both literally and figuratively before making a permanent decision, she said. “January  1 is the day of the resolutions,” Russell said. “Rather than be lining up at the courthouse on January second, go to an apartment leasing office. You could save hundreds of thousands of dollars.”