Family Ties: Divorce Jokes May Be Sexist

The next day at work i received a notice from my manager telling me that there had been complaints from a couple of my co-workers about my jokes. Is it considered socially unacceptable to tell divorce jokes?  

A: Many divorce jokes, including the examples of jokes you provided in your questions, put down either men, or (as in your case) women. Such jokes can be perceived not as “divorce jokes,” but as sexist jokes. I am not surprised that some of your co-workers (probably women) were offended by your jokes, as they are really demeaning to women. Further, while you may not have intended any harm or meant to offend anyone, your joke-telling could be construed as a form of harassment — a form of employment discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. 

According to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), harassment may include not only epithets or name calling, slurs, physical assaults or threats, intimidation, and offensive objects or pictures, but also offensive jokes, ridicule or mockery, and insults or put-downs. The EEOC Web site explains that “Petty slights, annoyances, and isolated incidents (unless extremely serious) will not rise to the level of illegality. To be unlawful, the conduct must create a work environment that would be intimidating, hostile, or offensive to reasonable people.”

So unless you have a pattern of behavior that is “intimidating, hostile, or offensive” to women at your job, your joke-telling is not a legal violation. So, although humor can be an effective tool to help us cope with the adversities of life (such as divorce), you would be well-advised to stick to jokes that do not put down or demean either women or men, or any group for that matter.    
        


Caroline Schacht has a master’s degree in home economics and another in sociology. She has been trained as a divorce mediator and a teacher at East Carolina University, specializing in courtship and marriage classes. She is the co-author of several textbooks, including "Choices in Relationships and Understanding Social Problems." She can be reached a cschacht@suddenlink.net.