Kirk Cameron Wants to Save your Marriage

    Actor Kirk Cameron thinks divorce is “overprescribed,” and thinks he’s got the antidote for it – his latest movie, Fireproof, which tackles the subject of how to save a struggling marriage. “When two people say ‘I do,’ they don’t realize that the falling in love experience is a euphoric time, that people fall in and out of love,” Cameron said. “Real love is about commitment and decision and promise.”

The 37-year-old who played teen-ager Mike Seaver in the TV sitcom “Growing Pains,” said the movie allows him to tackle a subject dear to his heart – how to keep your marriage vows long after you walk down the aisle. “When you see this movie, you’ll say Mike Seaver is dead. You’ll say, ‘What happened to Mikey?’”

Fireproof, rated PG, is the latest release from Sherwood Pictures, the makers of the 2006 movie about football and faith, "Facing the Giants." Fireproof, which was filmed with a $500,000 budget, will open in 800 theaters around the U.S. on Sept. 26.

The movie chronicles the life of Caleb Holt, a fire captain, who is a hero on the job, but whose life is falling apart at home. His wife Catherine, a public relations manager at a hospital, is flirting with a co-worker and considering an affair, while he’s addicted to Internet pornography. “They are engaged in other things that make them feel good or important,” Cameron said.

The couple is preparing for a divorce, when Holt’s father asks him to put it off for 40 days and read a book called, “The Love Dare,” which he thinks can help his son put his marriage back on track by teaching him the meaning of unconditional love. “It’s a challenge to see if this man understands what unconditional really is and if he practices it with his wife,” Cameron said.
 
“The Love Dare,” (a real book that will be available for sale at the time of the film’s release) gives Holt a daily plan to do just that. Cameron says of the book, “It’s deep. It’s powerful. It’s effective.”

The cast of the movie were all volunteers from Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany, Ga., which uses Sherwood Pictures as way to reach out to people with its ministry. No one, including Cameron, was paid for their work on the film. It was, he said, a labor of love for them all. Cameron hopes the movie gives people the hope they need “to pull their marriage up out of a nosedive.”

As an additional resource, there’s a Web site, fireproofmymarriage.com, that offers tips for setting up support systems for struggling couples in communities, churches and with their employers as well. The effort also offers additional resources for firefighters and Catholics.
 
Fireproof, according to Cameron, really focuses on what a man can do to improve his marriage. Since Cameron believes it is a husband’s job to cultivate a wife’s love, he expects women to “stand up and applaud” when the movie is over.

Cameron said he’s amazed when he hears men say they want a divorce because their wife isn’t the same person they married. His response: “If your wife has gone cold toward you, she got that way on your watch. The chances are, you let her wilt like a rose that hasn’t been watered in a long time and now you’re complaining about it.”

“People want it easier than that,” he said. But, he added, “If you want to have a great-looking lawn, if you want to improve your golf swing, if you want to reduce your waistline, you have to work at it." Marriage, he thinks, is the same. "Marriage takes hard work.”

About 43 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Cameron believes the numbers are high because, “Most people don’t understand what love is. They love the feeling. They want to keep that feeling going…That’s not love. Love is not falling into something.”
 
“Love is a promise. It’s a room you go into where you learn how to serve someone else. And you don’t leave that room. You lock the door and throw away the key.”

The divorce statistics worry Cameron, who became a Christian at 17 while he was filming the sitcom. Married for 17 years to actress Chelsea Noble, his love interest on “Growing Pains,” the couple has six children and is actively involved in Christian ministry. “Marriage is not a contract. It’s a covenant. It’s sacred. It’s an absolute, all-out commitment for life,” he said.

“God hates divorce,” he said, explaining that his own parents separated for six months while he was a teen-ager. They later got back together, he said. But he’s seen the pain that divorce causes, watching his own friends struggle with it. “It’s like ripping your soul in two,” he said.

Cameron thinks it might be helpful to require pre-marital counseling before couples tie the knot, so they would be forced to talk about such issues as how they manage money, whether they want to have children or what religion they plan to practice. “It’s harder to get a driver license today than it is to get a marriage license,” he said.

But, he does believe there are some instances where “divorce is appropriate and the right thing to do” for instance, where there’s adultery involved. The movie flirts with the issue of infidelity using Internet pornography and a potential office affair, two issues that Cameron calls “fruit problems” not “the root problem.” “Why does a man have an affair? He’s got the craving for lust and satisfaction. Maybe a man or woman is not feeling appreciated,” he said.

Still, he believes many people consider divorce too quickly. “The vast majority of people are getting divorced over the same old stupid stuff,” he said. “It’s like Ritalin. It’s way too overprescribed.”

The biggest enemy in marriage: “Yourself. You can’t change your spouse. There’s only one person to change, and that’s you,” Cameron said.

“The only way to build a marriage is through love, and love is sacrificing your needs and your preferences and submitting them to someone else’s wants and desires, even when it costs you something personally.”

Cameron even thinks the movie would be helpful to those who have divorced and are searching for another chance at love. Second marriages, after all, have a higher rate of divorce than first marriages. And the movie, he believes, will give someone who is divorced “a much better understanding of what marriage is supposed to be and how to build their next relationship on a solid foundation.”
 
For more information on the movie, please see http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/