Staying Healthy Under Stress

Cortisol is secreted in a regular pattern daily, based on waking and sleeping. If a person sleeps too much or too little, the cortisol pattern changes. “This is often experienced by people going through divorce who aren’t sleeping well,” Lovallo said. “In addition, because your brain is producing a lot of negative emotions, it is producing more cortisol than normal. Now there are two things going on. Your daily cycle is disrupted and now you have more cortisol.”

High levels of cortisol can also suppress the immune system and make a person susceptible to disease. All of these things can happen, Lovallo said, to someone without any history of health problems.

One of the most common symptoms of emotional stress is weight loss, Lovallo said. Some studies have called divorce, and other major life events, “triggers.” Charles Stuart Platkin, author of the syndicated nutrition and fitness column The Diet Detective and founder of DietDetective.com, points to a 2006 study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition which found that many people who maintained weight loss had a trigger event, like a divorce.

The weight loss can be managed in a healthy way, Platkin said, especially since divorce is a time when people are examining their life. “You look at your life and make an assessment,” he said. “It can be a way to trigger something healthy that can last the rest of your life. You can take control of it."

The key, Platkin said is stocking up on healthy foods that are easy to cook at a time when you may not have the energy to think about food. He also suggested exercise. “To most people, it sounds boring and uninteresting, but it doesn’t have to be,” he said. “When you have control of your physical being and are eating better, it gives you strength, especially during a difficult time.”


SELF CARE DURING DIVORCE

Angie Holoubek, a 36-year-old marriage and family therapist from Wichita, Kan., said despite the advice she often gives her clients, she found it difficult to focus on herself while going through divorce two years ago. “There was a significant chunk of time where I wasn’t doing anything for my health,” she said. “I was just trying to make it through each day. The things I advise my clients, I couldn’t apply to myself. It’s next to impossible when you’re going through it.”

It’s something she sees daily with her clients. “I’m constantly seeing men and women both, who are going through divorce or relationship problems, having physical symptoms, whether it’s gaining too much weight or losing weight,” she said.

She said she advises people going through divorce to do something special for themselves. “You need to pamper yourself,” she said. “I teach men and women both what pampering means. I had to force myself to start doing for me.”

Steve Grissom, founder of Divorce Care – the group Habas works with – said the nonprofitprogram touches on maintaining physical health. Divorce Care is 13-week support group and seminar for people going through divorce and is offered at thousands of churches. “We know there are many physical manifestations of divorce,” Grissom said. “Stress has a terrible effect on the body.”

The sessions use information from physicians and psychiatrists, Grissom said, and deal in part with taking care of your body, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet and exercising. Grissom said the support group looks at four aspects of a person’s life: emotional, spiritual, mental and physical. If all four cylinders are in balance, a person’s life – like a car – runs smoothly. When one is out of sync, it starts to drain energy. 

Hecker also stressed focusing energy on one’s self and building a new identity not tied to a former spouse. “It’s a time of personal transformation,” she said. “Self care is really important. They really need to focus on their own health care and realize that they are worthwhile.”

 
Stephanie Obley has worked at newspapers in Florida, South Carolina and Utah covering issues from education to crime.