Everyone Wins Mediation: Are You Ready to Give Up?

    The most powerful way to create a win-win atmosphere is to understand and practice the power of acknowledgment. Acknowledgment means the willingness to offer honest, positive feedback to another about what they are doing and how it is affecting you. Usually, we focus upon other individual’s negativities and how irritating they can be. We gossip about these to others in the workplace and dwell upon them ourselves. When we employ the power of acknowledgment, however, we turn all that around. We give the other the benefit of the doubt and focus upon behavior that is pleasing and good and give feedback about the effects of that to him/her.

We do not blame others for difficulties or for the mess we are in, but take radical responsibility to find the cause in ourselves. We become aware of shifting responsibility to others about the mess we are in, become aware of our own part in it, and do our best to straighten that out. Others will notice this, be greatly appreciative and impressed and the workplace environment will turn around. Everyone benefits from this approach.     

Never Give Up On A Person            
Another step in creating a win-win environment in which everyone can thrive is to never give up on a person. This means to go with the person as far as you can. Often we discard an individual or their efforts way before we know all they can really do. By making the decision to relate to their strength and ability, and to stay through the thick and thin with them, individuals in relationships feel safe to grow and learn. They also realizes that mistakes are not fatal, but part of the process of exploration. When we are free to make mistakes and not be cast out for it, the level and quality of our relationships grows  beyond all expectation.This level of support and understanding creates a foundation for developing an individual’s full potential and his feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment which allows him/her to give their all.
 
ACTIVITY: Journal            
Answer the following questions, then think about them and answer again. Do this all week.

• How willing are to never give up on a person?
• How much are you willing to go through with them?
• What is your cut off point?
• What behavior can’t you tolerate? Why?
• What makes you believe in someone in the first place?
• What is it that takes this belief away? 
• Has anyone ever been there for you throughout thick and thin?
• What did that feel like?
• What happened when they decided it was enough and went away? 
• Write down the name of one person you are willing to never give up on. What is it about them that allows you to do this? What is it about you?
• Little by little can you increase this list?
• What would you need to allow you to do so?   

Dr Brenda Shoshanna, speaker, divorce mediator and author, is a relationship expert. Some of her books include, "The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress Free Living)" and"Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships)." Learn more about her at: http://www.brendashoshanna.com. Contact at: topspeaker@yahoo.com.