divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

law  :: advice
Print
Email
These are not issues that are easily resolved and you want to make sure you're resolving them right away.

Pregnant and Filing for Divorce?


Pregnant and Filing for Divorce?


Question Sparks More Questions: Can You Get a Divorce while You're Pregnant?


By JENNIFER BALLESTEROS

    Can you get a divorce while pregnant? It’s a national question mark. A gray area that isn’t mentioned until it becomes an issue. “There’s no clear-cut area of the law,” said Alan Kopit, practicing lawyer and Legal Editor for Lawyers.com. “It depends on where you live as to whether you can get divorce if you’re pregnant. It’s a very important issue, and I think states are struggling with it.”

Lawyer and Webmaster of Divorceinfo.com, Lee Borden says the question appears on his discussion board every few months.  “It’s one of those things that can be totally consuming when it is an issue,” said Borden.            


For expecting mother Amanda Fox, 25, the issue has been very real and very frustrating. She first found out about the impossibility of getting divorced while pregnant in her state of Arizona while researching Web sites and filling out paperwork. “I was disturbed because I didn’t know that you couldn’t get a divorce while pregnant. Nor have I ever known anyone in that situation,” Fox said. “Once I found out that I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to get a divorce, I just pushed it to the back of my mind,” explained Fox. “I put the blame to myself because now I can’t get a divorce.”

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of the self-help system PerfectlyPositive.com, Gail Thoen has counseled many couples and individuals in situations similar to Fox’s over the course of 20 years. “In every life there are predictable and not predictable events and. . . a person has to make choices,” said Thoen.

Divorce is a life-altering event that creates a critical transition point in a person’s life. “For example, you file for divorce, it’s in the court, and you find out you’re pregnant--there’s no turning back. This is a critical change in the respondent’s life and in the whole family system.”

Thoen emphasizes that feeling guilty or blaming yourself is unnecessary because there’s no way to change the past. “The appropriate thing to do is plan for the future in a responsible way. No blame, no shame,” Thoen says. “You’re welcoming a new baby into the world and that’s a joyful situation, you welcome new life and bring this baby into a loving environment. You did the best you could under difficult circumstances.”

However, even after the baby is born and the divorce is final, the emotional work is far from over. “Most people don’t dream of getting a divorce and pregnant by another man. There has to be appropriate grieving and [her] main job is taking care of herself and this baby,” Thoen says. “It is the death of a dream and the beginning of a new dream. You have to put it to rest and move on.”

Additionally, there are many legal issues — such as property and finances — that can be taken care of prior to the due date. “When you go into court with papers in hand,” Kopit says, “any issues that can be resolved beforehand would be so helpful because they have to get resolved anyway.” 

Page: 1 2 Last


divorce New this week::

Transition Institute: Telling Your Spouse You want to Split - Mental Health: The Dos, Don'ts of Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

 

Your Kid Wants To Live With Ex - Tips On How To Cope If Your Child Wants To Change Homes

 

Living with a Habitual Liar? - Relationships: Four Ways You Can Tell if Your Spouse is Telling You a Whopper

 

divorce Community::
popular blogs
Zhaoling Mausoleum Introduction along Your Xian Travel
Tang Taizong ZhaoLing is the second emperor of the Tang Dynasty Li Shimin's...read more 

Hukou Waterfall Travel Guide Make Easier for Your Tour
The Hukou Waterfall of China’s Yellow River now enterred into the best...read more 

Good Place for Mountain Climber in Guilin
Gudong Waterfall, situated in the Gudong Forest Scenic Area, is 25 km away...read more 

get/give answers
expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 


expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. Are You Reading Your Spouses Text Messages?
Stop! It May Be Illegal & May Hurt Your Case

2. Eager To Check Those Texts?
Think your Spouse is Cheating? Professionals Can Check Text Messages

3. They Won't Leave? Now What?
You Want a Divorce, but Your Spouse Won’t Leave. Here’s How to Get 'em out

4. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

5. When Is a Marriage Worth Saving?
10 Things to Think About When Considering Whether to Stick with a Relationship