divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

law  :: advice
Print
Email
Try to find out what he needs in order to get him out. If it’s to help him get an apartment and help him decorate it, then do it.

They Won't Leave? Now What?


They Won't Leave?  Now What?


You Want a Divorce, but Your Spouse Won’t Leave. Here’s How to Get 'em out


By LENORE SKOMAL

 You’re ending your marriage. But he won’t leave. Can you make him?

 “Of course you can, even if it means getting a lawyer and calling the sheriff. But, usually, you can find out why he won't move out and come to an agreement. Sometimes it's financial. He sees the house as at least half his and won't relinquish it. That requires legal intervention. Sometimes is emotional,” said Tina B. Tessina, a Long Beach, Calif.-based psychotherapist and author of "The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart."   



 “Try to find out what he needs in order to get him out. If it’s to help him get an apartment and help him decorate it, then do it. Of course, you are enabling him, but you are enabling him to be gone and you are willing to do whatever you need to get him gone.”    

Some lawyers, however, don’t believe that anyone should budge until arrangements are laid out in a temporary agreement.        

“As a practitioner, I advise if there are children involved, that neither leave the marital home until there is a custody agreement in place. If you are looking to share custody, you don’t want the perception that you are ready to leave until everything is in place,” said Judy Poller, 49, partner and chair of the matrimonial department at Dreier LLP, a Manhattan-based law firm. Poller said that while issues such as these vary state to state, in New York one thing is clear.    

“You can’t get the spouse out of house unless you can prove there is some kind of danger,” she said. “You can get exclusive occupancy during a divorce but it is very difficult, emotionally and physically. The courts don’t like to kick people out of their houses.”     

She added when there are children involved and issues of custody and support in the balance, being forced to live under the same roof can sometimes have a sobering effect. “It is leverage. An incentive to work out the finances. Pressure that we have got to get this done so we can live apart.” But some argue that living together, even though it may be financially more equitable can have some powerful negative effects on the children, even in the best of pending divorces.  


Page: 1 2 Last


divorce New this week::

The Truth About 'Divorce-Proofing' And 'Affair-Proofing' Your Marriage - What none of the so-called relationship/marriage experts is willing to admit

 

Divorce Survival: 5 Tips For Making It Through That First Year - Think you'll never feel normal again?

 

5 Keys to Co-Parenting Success After Divorce - It won't always be easy

 

divorce Community::
popular blogs
get/give answers
Divorce stay at home mom and student now
Hello I am not even sure if doing incognito browsing will make me safe but I am...Read Answers/share yours 

I don't know where to start...
I'm sitting here on my computer debating on making "that call" to a lawyer. My...Read Answers/share yours 

I don't know were to start..
I'm sitting here on my computer debating on making "that call" to a lawyer. My...Read Answers/share yours 

expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 


expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

2. Are You Reading Your Spouses Text Messages?
Stop! It May Be Illegal & May Hurt Your Case

3. Eager To Check Those Texts?
Think your Spouse is Cheating? Professionals Can Check Text Messages

4. Could They Be Cheating?
11 Signs You Can Look Out For Today

5. Why Do Spouses Cheat?
Infidelity: Experts Say Men Want Sex, Women Want Emotional Support