Even if the prenup appears primarily to protect your fiancé’s assets, it can also protect your assets and can protect you both against a costly legal battle, if divorce was to occur. It is certainly appropriate for you to share your feelings about a prenup with your fiancé. One option is for you and your fiancé to discuss the particulars of what a prenup between you might specify. But If the process of discussing a prenup brings you closer and you feel that the agreements your fiancé suggests including in the prenup are fair, your feelings about proceeding with a prenuptial agreement might change.
Prenuptial agreements are recognized in all 50 states, but states vary in their laws regarding prenups. It is advisable to consult with an attorney in developing a prenuptial agreement; indeed, you and your fiancé should have separate legal counsel to make sure that each of your interests is represented. Prenuptial agreements should be made well before the wedding date; otherwise, you might feel pressure signing on the dotted line.
Do not sign any agreement if it does not see fair to you or if you feel coerced into signing it. One option you might consider is having a sunset clause in your agreement that states that the prenup agreement is valid for a specified number of years, and then it must be renegotiated. In sum, whether you end up agreeing to a prenup or not, discussing a prenuptial agreement can be a valuable experience for you and your fiancé to learn about each other’s values, sense of fairness, and ability to negotiate with each other. Caroline Schacht has a master’s degree in home economics and another in sociology. She has been trained as a divorce mediator and a teacher at East Carolina University, specializing in courtship and marriage classes. She is the co-author of several textbooks, including "Choices in Relationships and Understanding Social Problems." She can be reached a firstname.lastname@example.org.