Staying Well During the Divorce

     Divorce is one of the most stressful events in an adult’s life. And, if left unchecked, that stress can wreak havoc on the health of someone weathering a break-up.       

Christine Cauffield, Ph.D., the president and chief executive officer of Aspire Behavioral Health, Inc., a national organization of geropsychiatric hospitals, said that traditionally the stress of divorce is considered second only to the death of a spouse, but she believes it is even worse.       

Historically, scientific research about the effects of stress on the body’s immune system began with Hans Selye in a 1936 article. Two psychiatrists followed Selye’s findings and, in 1967, published a scale of stressful life events called the Holmes- Rahe Stress Scale. They used the scale to determine whether life events can contribute to illness.    

The scale applies a numerical life change unit to a variety of experiences, such as the aforementioned death of a spouse or divorce, as well as other stressful events like losing a job, illness or moving. 

Cauffield said there is debate in the mental health community about whether divorce can be considered more stressful than the death of a spouse because the death of a spouse is not usually something for which people feel responsible, as is often the case with divorce.
 
“Many feel that divorce is more stressful and impactful because with a death, even though there is a lot of anger and sorrow and grief, the remaining spouse, most of the time, can say that they did not cause the death. Their spouse’s death was not in their control,” Cauffield said.
 
And in the case of divorce, often one or both parties second guess what they could have done to save the marriage and avoid the divorce, Cauffield said. 

“Although, all of the grief and loss stages are there, additionally, people have to handle with great angst, that somehow they had done something differently, or not done something differently, it could have changed the course of the marriage,” Cauffield said.       

Another aspect that may place divorce higher on the scale, Cauffield said, was the fact that there are other stressful aspects combined into a divorce experience. She said that with divorce, one typically experiences more losses from the scale, such as estrangement from friends, moving, changing jobs or financial burdens.       

“Death might be 100 [ on the scale], and divorce is 73, but when you add up the additional stressors, the points, most of the time, the additional losses are more impactful from a stress point of view on the immune system,” Cauffield said.

LONG-TERM HEALTH EFFECTS

The stress from divorce may even have long-term health effects. A research team from Iowa State University studied the extended effects of divorce-related stress on women, and they found that divorced women had higher levels of stress in their lives and higher levels of illness that continued from the time they were divorced on through their lives.       

Frederick Lorenz, Ph.D., a professor of statistics and sociology, said his team began  evaluating a panel of rural women since 1991. They re-evaluated the women and their health histories after 10 years. All of the women had teenaged children and all of the women had been married for at least 13 years.

At first, Lorenz said, the divorced women showed extremely high distress right after their divorces, and the stress levels tended to abate. There were no immediate differences in their health at that time. “After the divorce, there was an adjustment period where psychologically, they settled down,” Lorenz said.       

But 10 years later, the divorced women had higher levels of illness traced back to the divorce, and continued experiences of stressful life events, Lorenz said. “Not only did the divoverced women seem to have more stressful life events, but they accumulated them more than the married women,” Lorenz said. 

The divorced women had consistently higher levels of stressful life events and higher levels of illness, he said. The researchers looked at more than 100 potential stressful events, such as those related to marriage, raising children, related to work, events that happened to themselves.