Making Lemonade: Healing Part Two

    There are many flavors and themes of divorce; and it’s painful if you ended the relationship or the relationship left you. People can suffer either way.

If you were the one that was deeply in love with your spouse and the divorce hit you "out of left field", you may be looking at MORE than half the time for your "recovery." Then again, if you had a ten year marriage, of which the last eight years were basically just staying together for the kids, or if you were living under the same roof but living parallel lives, you can cut for healing program dramatically. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill and we all have to deal with the losses and how they manifest themselves.

Once you are realistic and are in acceptance, you should be applauded. From this position, it is easier to project where you are in your healing process, sometimes known as the "tunnel." Sometimes we can see the light at the end of our processing tunnel. The world seems brighter, certain memories don’t get triggered as much by what someone says or by a song or smell. During this time, it is best to concentrate on other things in your life, such as hobbies, family, friends, or basically anything that will keep you happy while you go through your process. The good news is that we all do find a way to get through it and at the end of the tunnel; life is usually a lot better.  

As they say, there are no accidents in life, and that emergence from the end of the tunnel IS extremely gratifying, once you get there. Stay the course. You will make it.  Acceptance is the key and then you are more than half way there.    


Jodi Seidler is the founder of the single parent site MakingLemonade.com and the author of "55 Things Every Divorcing Mom Should Know!" Her advice has also made it to TV talk shows, such as: "Inside Edition"and "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus." Her e-mail is jodi@makinglemonade.com.