Divorce and Resolutions

    Now that you've been through the divorce, what do you plan to do in 2008 to improve your life as a newly single? Experts say it is good to have New Year's resolutions to help you change your life.  

"I would recommend that they resolve to take really good care of themselves, and that could be physical, like using your body to exercise, but also eating nutritional foods, because it's really difficult finding yourself single after a long time," said Deborah Klinger, a therapist in Raleigh, N.C.  

According to the U.S. Office of Citizen Services and Communications, the most popular New Year's resolutions include losing weight, paying off debt, volunteering to help others, taking a trip, reducing stress at work or reducing stress overall. Others are getting fit, eating healthy, returning to college or high school, quitting smoking and saving up money.  

"Finding good self care is also another aspect of that. It is things like a massage, like chiropractic or acupuncture," said Klinger. "And emotionally as well surrounding yourself with friends who care about you, and people who are good for you."  

"I do have a client going through a divorce right now, and he's been finding people who have gone through the same thing to talk to. We human beings are creatures of relationships. We need humans to depend on and lean on, developing a support system," Klinger says.  

Anna Koenig, a counselor in Atlanta, Ga., believes newly single people need to be responsible for their own happiness. "Happiness is an inside job. In other words, I want to get away from being a victim. Whenever I think something outside is going to make me happy, that puts me in victim status," says Anne Koenig, a counselor in Atlanta, Ga.

Koenig says that volunteering is an excellent way to feel better about yourself, because you're helping others. "Help another person. Volunteer to do something. Remember that peace begins with a smile," she says. She also suggested that volunteering can come in the form of doing something nice for someone else. "Open up the door for somebody. Tell somebody they look really great today, and here's a really awesome one. Do a good deed, and don't get found out," says Koenig.