We know, we know . . . your life is a soap opera as it is without adding other issues and responsibilities to your already full plate. But can you afford to miss out on some great advice on dealing with divorce - and all the fallout that comes with it?
Granted, reading may not be a priority on your to-do list — but it should be. It is important for divorced men to read about the pain they are experiencing and learn how to eliminate it so they can move on.
“Men must face their fears and empty every skeleton from the closet. What you fearfully deny and run from will only follow you to resurface in future relationships,” said Paul F. Davis, relational expert and author of several books including "Breakthrough for a Broken Heart" and "Are You Ready for True Love?"
Men also need to process their pain and deal with their unfinished business to prevent it from sabotaging meaningful relationships, he said. One way of doing this is to seek out books that will help to mend their broken hearts and provide future action steps. Though men are less apt than women to read books, men are more inclined to read than to seek counseling, noted Davis.
“Most importantly, relating to ourselves as men is first and foremost,” he said. “Our identity ultimately determines our destiny. Men need to update their identity as much as they do their resume. In doing so, men can rise above tragedy and triumph as they move forth into their future.”
That said, the following is a list of five books about men and divorce that will help you balance your new life.
1. The Business of Love
This book, written by John Curtis, Ph.D., is the first book to take the best practices model of the business world and apply it to marriage. Ultimately, the goals of both are the same: long-term success. Written by men and for men, "The Business of Love" objectively details why a marriage failed and how certain setbacks can help you make better relationship choices in the future. The step-by-step approach offers readers business concepts — such as a marital vision statement, a performance appraisal process and detailed spousal job descriptions — to apply to their current or future relationships. The Web site states that after reading the book, men will learn how to envision an ideal future state for the relationship, develop an objective to measuring success, determine the role of money in the marital enterprise, create job descriptions that define each partner’s role, and more. “Whether it’s my book or another one, men should be taking advantage of the growing number of books and even magazine articles out there on coping with divorce,” says Curtis. ‘There are plenty of good strategies to honestly and objectively determine why a marriage failed – and how your experience of those setbacks can actually improve your judgment in making better relationship choices down the road.”
2. Divorced Dads: 101 Ways to Stay Connected with your Kids.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., and Lee Hefner provide readers with advice on how non-custodial fathers can stay connected with their children. The easy-to-understand style, short chapters and highlighted tips make for fast reading and practical solutions. Divorce doesn’t mean a dad will suddenly become fatherless. Given the right tools, dads can remain a part of their child’s life as frequently as they wish, by picking up the telephone to talk or connecting through interactive Internet games — two simple suggestions mentioned in the book. The book also teaches fathers how to develop a deeper relationship with their child, how to create a fun, comfortable atmosphere and how to help their child succeed in school in spite of all the changes in their life.
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