Divorce is identity jarring and it is important to step back from the old person in order for the new one to emerge.
A Vacation for the Soul
Imagination and Finances are the Key Factors in Post-Divorce Getaways
By BRIAN GUTH
Shanny Lott's divorce this summer still pains her. The Austin, Texas, artist turned to travel to help clear her head and prepare her emotionally for the years ahead. She chose A Spa for the Soul, a sprawling west-Texas spa at the Red Corral Ranch, to share her grief in a setting that shattered life's daily grind.
Breaking routine is the key, Lott and others say, and travel after divorce is a message she's willing to share with others. "Divorce is identity jarring and it is important to step back from the old person in order for the new one to emerge," Lott said.
Had she met Virgil O'Donnell after his divorce, she would have recommended he take a trip of some sort. The practice is becoming increasingly common as divorcees seek emotional and sometimes spiritual healing following one of life's most painful experiences.
Imagination and finances are key factors in post-divorce getaways. Trips include jaunts to foreign destinations, places divorcees may only have dreamed about during their married years. Spas, ranches, even a weeklong backpacking journey can break the familiar, give perspective and clear the mind for the journey ahead.
O'Donnell, a resident of tiny New Madison in southwest Ohio, faced mounting bills and debt when he divorced. He thought about travel but felt he'd compromise his financial future by taking a lavish trip. Today he is happily remarried but regrets not having the means to break away after his divorce went final.
Lott said the money -- even a significant amount -- is worth every penny to travel after divorce. "It is a practical thing to do," she said. "What I mean is that it works."
A Spa for the Soul facilitator Jennifer Tull would agree. As a family attorney, she witnessed the life-shattering experience and its effects on hundreds of divorcees over the years. Today she helps women at the ranch, located on 1,100 acres in the Texas hill country between Austin and San Antonio.
"People need this to get new start and new lease on life," Tull said. "Our program is about getting your feet back under you … and how to keep it from happening again."
Lott is so convinced of travel's benefits after divorce that she goes against conventional financial wisdom, even advocating going into debt to take the trip.
"What a woman needs is to go whole hog out on herself. Most women are afraid to do this. They have lived such restricted lives," she said. "I recommend at least two weeks in Europe … Barcelona would be my pick. It is the youngest, most vibrant city in all of Europe. Wide open, free and happy.
"That's a great place to start a new life. I hate cheap trips. They are depressing."
Dr. Darrell Kepler has witnessed the depression of divorce as a Christian minister. He has pastored at Baptist churches in Albuquerque, N.M., and Riverside, Calif. -- areas close to wonderful outdoor escapes.
After divorce, couples he had counseled went their separate ways -- some to Hawaii, some to Las Vegas, many to outdoor camping venues, which offered an escape at more affordable prices. As a minister, he worked to help each couple resolve its issues. But when they couldn't, he understood the value of travel after divorce.
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