Stress Relief: Lifting Your Spirits after Split

Q: The stress of this divorce is just overwhelming me. I find myself irritable and on-overload, and feel like I’ll never smile again. How can I take care of myself so the stress doesn’t make me sick? 

A: First, acknowledge that this is going to be a complicated time for you, and don’t be surprised when things are more complicated than usual. But also remember that “This, too, shall pass.” And you’re so right to want to mitigate the impact of the stress you’re experiencing on your overall well-being. Below are a few simple soothers for everyday life, that I hope will help you to rediscover balance and pleasure, even during this complex transition.

Overwhelmed? Start small...make a "to do" list.
1. Ask for help. 
2. Organize just one drawer. 
3. Work 30 minutes on/30 minutes off. 
4. Pay three bills at a time. (Or pay weekly, but avoid that "monthly mountain.") 
5. List your day's successes. Now enjoy a healthy reward for your efforts! 

Re-balance your day.
1. Take a lunch break every single day. Go for a walk. Feed the ducks. (Ducks need lunch, too!) 
2. Organize your desk. (..okay, file just one pile.) External clutter can really increase internal stress.
3. Take a mini-break every hour -- no excuses.
4. Keep water handy. Dehydration stresses the whole system.
5. Write in your journal for 10 minutes. (Okay. Four.)
6. End your day with a steaming shower, and a quiet, no-TV evening.

Looking for the secret to happiness? (Hint: it's in the little things.)
1. Pick out three cards. Send them to three people for no particular occasion.
2. Tell someone they've done a great job.
3. Smile at strangers. Keep trying. Somebody will smile back.
4. Make up with someone. If forgiveness is in order, find some. Life’s too short to waste it feeling angry. 
5. Not having enough fun? Take time for recreation. At the end of the day, most find, "Attend to Personal Well-Being" somewhere at the bottom of the list. So set aside times each week to re-create.
6. Do something utterly engaging that makes you feel alive. Study a foreign language. Play bridge or join a book discussion group. 
7. Listen to music — or make some! Still stumped? Ask your friends what they do for fun. 
8. Make a "thrills" list!  Get yourself a beautiful journal, a special pen and start a Thrills List -- from shooting stars to simple pleasures. List every thrill you've ever had (...or hope to!) The clearer we are about our desires and intentions for this life, the sooner we can take small steps that might just bring them closer. Update weekly, and create a couple of new thrills! 


Copyright 2000, 2007 Relax. . .Intuit (tm) LLC. All rights reserved. Federal law prohibits use of this material in whole or in part without the express written consent of Relax...Intuit™ LLC. Susie Mantell's Stress-Relief & Wellness Tips are intended as an adjunct to, not a substitute for, professional health care. Stress-relief expert Susie Mantell is the award-winning author of, "Your Present: A Half-Hour of Peace." (audio book on CD) Featured in Fortune 500 companies, ABC, NBC, CBS-TV, Town & Country and Memorial Sloan-Kettering, listeners include The Mayo Clinic, Canyon Ranch (#1Spa,) The Betty Ford Center and other distinguished medical centers to relieve symptoms associated with stress, sleeplessness and depression. Subscribe to Susie Mantell's Free "dot-calm" e-Newsletter at http://www.relaxintuit.com/cd.asp. Learn more about Mantell at http://relaxintuit.com/.