Stop! Don't Let The Economy = Divorce

    Are you struggling under debt? Is your money situation taking a toll on your marriage? Is the pressure so great that you're seriously considering divorce? Here are some tips to help if your marriage is taking a beating along with your finances in this economic crisis.

1. View your marriage as an investment.
Just as you would make time to attend to a valuable asset, put your energy into the relationship.  

2. Work on developing openness and honesty in your communication.  
Commit to talking out your misunderstandings instead of letting them become full-fledged arguments.  

3. Make a decision to use cooperation and compromise in resolving your conflicts.
Be flexible as you look at the issue from your partner's perspective as well as your own.  

4. Deal with your anger and practice fighting fair.
Tell your partner what you don't appreciate about their behavior, not their personality. Once you have expressed your negative feelings, let go of the hostility.  

5. Begin to give compliments more freely.
Be attentive to the actions that you want to reinforce. Then acknowledge -- even praise – your partner’s positive behaviors. When you are thinking something nice, say it out loud.  

6. Set aside time to enjoy each other.
Be playful as you laugh and bring humor into your daily life. Think back to when you were dating and remember why you fell in love.  

7. Consider the possibility of rebuilding trust.
Even though it may not be easy to re-connect, if you think you can, you will have the confidence to continue toward this goal. When you and your partner are focused on satisfying each other’s needs, your marriage will be strengthened.

As the economic upheaval continues, resist having it alone determine the future of your marriage. Make your own decision about whether or not you will seek a divorce. The effects of your choice are likely to last even longer than the current financial crisis. I hope this information is helpful.

Dr. Rosemary Lichtman and Dr. Phyllis Goldberg have guided their clients through reassessing their lives, before, during and after divorce. They created http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, which provides coaching services and a free e-zine.