Oh Solo Mio: Relationship Struggling?

    In a world full of never-ending responsibilities, bonding with your mate can slip down to the bottom of your “to-do” list (which can be lethal to romance).  If you have found that your connection with your partner has become a little fuzzy, check out these fresh ways to get a little closer without breaking your bank account or your back (thanks, Kama Sutra).

1. Use Food as Foreplay.
 Relax; it’s not what you’re thinking (shame on you)!  Purchase a gourmet cookbook (or log onto www.foodnetwork.com) and then grab your mate and head to the store to purchase all of the ingredients. Break open a bottle of wine, light a few candles and turn on your favorite tunes while working together on a decadent meal that you’ll both enjoy. Be sure to pick recipes that include a variety of textures and flavors such as creamy goat cheese, spicy jalapenos, warm cinnamon and clove, and the ultimate food goddess, chocolate.

2. Give Him a Challenge.
Bring out the animalistic side of your guy by appealing to his competitive side. Challenge him to a game of pool, monopoly or another favorite physical activity such as soccer or basketball. He’ll love your playfulness and you’ll get a kick out of watching him show off to impress you. Be sure to make a bet that’s win-win such as the loser has to plan a date for the following night or act out a devilish little fantasy later that evening.  

3. Lose Your Virginity Together.
By trying something new! While dance lessons are the obvious choice, they are often time-consuming and expensive. What about signing up for a wine-tasting at a local wine store, hitting the museum to see a new exhibit or, if you want to go Beckham, popping into a salon for his and her cuts and sporting a whole new look together?    

4. Go Retro.
When you were a kid, you couldn’t wait to be an adult and “eat ice cream for breakfast” but every grown-up knows that along with freedom come more responsibilities and less time to enjoy the cones. Whether it’s a day at the amusement park, a night at the drive-in or ordering a movie on demand and loading up on your favorite candy in your PJ’s, grab your partner and do something you both loved as kids.   

5. Re-Vamp Your Living Space.
Companies and schools often use goal-oriented exercises as team-building techniques and for good reason; taking on a large project together such as redecorating your pad will not only have you communicating more but also teach you how to compromise for the greater good of both the project and team. Besides, how amazing will you both feel when it is complete and you’re toasting one another’s hard work!

6. Volunteer Together.
Is there anything more beautiful than people helping one another for no other reason than because they want to? Sign up to walk for a favorite cause, to read to the blind or volunteer together in children’s ward just once or once a week.

7. Have a Lazy Sunday Together.
Turn off your phones, stay in your pajamas, order in and lay on the couch until the sun goes down. There is something to be said about doing nothing at all.



Brenda Della Casa is the internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar (www.cinderellawasaliar.com) and a freelance writer and columnist who specializes in romance, lifestyle and wellness features.  In addition to her writing, Brenda spent nine years interviewing thousands of men and women while casting some of television’s most well-known reality shows. Brenda's columns appear on and in Start Your Business Magazine, Iamstaggered.com, FiLife.com, Basil & Spice and Divorce360.com. She has been seen on The Today Show, iVillage Live and numerous other television and radio shows.Brenda has written for and been featured in dozens of publications including, Cosmopolitan, Psychologies, TheStreet.com, Men's Health, Hallmark, FHM, iVillage.com, Woman's Day, Cosmo Bride, The Mirror, The Sun, The NY Daily News, Health and Fitness, Fabulous, For Me, Company, Seventeen, Bliss, New Woman and many others. Her blog, Walking Barefoot can be seen at www.strollwithoutshoes.com

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