Everybody Wins Mediation: 24 Forms of Anger

        In the process of divorce many are susceptible to anger. Unfortunately, when anger strikes it is difficult to make correct choices and see things in the most constructive ways. “Who would I be without my anger?” many say. They feel that without anger they would become weak, a doormat and out of control. 

Actually, the opposite is true. When we are free of anger, when we are clear about what’s really going, we can make the best choices and plans for the future. In order to do this, it’s necessary to know that anger camouflages itself and appears in many different guises. Below is a list of the 24 forms of anger. This is a general list. Some individuals can locate other specific ways in which anger manifests in their lives. If so, write it down. Watch your behavior. Keep a record. You will be amazed to discover aspects of yourself you were not aware of.

The 24 basic forms of anger are: (Some of them will surprise you)

1. Direct Attack 
2. Hypocrisy 
3. Stealing 
4. Lying & Deception
5. Depression
6. Withdrawal
7. Passive Aggressive Behavior
8. Hopelessness
9. Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts
10. Burnout            
11. Self-Sabotage
12. Low Self Esteem
13. Compulsions
14. Obsessions
15. Revenge
16. Addictions
17. Psychosomatic Disorders
18. Catastrophic Expectations
19. Masochism
20. Sadism
21.  Martyrdom
22. Judgmental-ness
23. Blaming
24. Gossiping     

These 24 forms are not set in stone. They vary from individual to individual. Many of the forms are inter-related. It’s important to notice how anger works in your life. Take your anger temperature. Once awareness grows you can make other choices. 

Contrary to popular expectation it is not at all difficult to release anger once you are aware of what is going on. As soon as you spot a form of anger you’re involved in, turn it around. In this way, you let it go. If you see you are blaming another stop. If you find a grudge is gripping you, think of all the good things that person has done for you. If you see yourself gossiping, find something good to say. If you notice yourself in the grip of depression, (anger turned against the self), find a way to be your own best friend.            

Not only does anger attack others, it turns back and attacks the self. Most forms of illness and self-destructive behavior arise from anger which has not been released. Especially during a difficult time, it is wonderful to become aware and let negativity go.    


Dr Brenda Shoshanna, speaker, divorce mediator and author, is a relationship expert. Some of her books include, "The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress Free Living)" and"Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships)." Learn more about her at: http://www.brendashoshanna.com. Contact at: topspeaker@yahoo.com.