Dr. Romance: Creating a Successful Marriage

1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other.
You should talk about frustrations, sex, anger, disappointment, about your appreciation of each other, about the meaning of life, about everything. No topic should be off limits. Learn to listen and communicate instead of fighting. Fighting is childish, and you want a grown-up relationship.

2. Strive to work together to solve anything that comes up: Be a team, create a partnership.
Don't get stuck on who's right or wrong, instead focus on what will solve the problem. Strive to work together so both of you can have what you want. When you build a successful working partnership, each of you will feel supported and respected by the other.  When each of you feels that the other has your best interests at heart, problems are solved not "my way" or "your way" but so that both are happy with the solution.  The mutuality of this type of partnership creates an environment of love where deep trust grows. When trust, respect, responsibility and love feel mutual, that's when we feel secure in being loved.

3. Keep your connection going through communication, sex, affection, understanding and concern for one another. 
Nothing insures that your relationship will remain faithful better than a good, warm connection with great sex.

4. Have a sense of humor.
Give the benefit of the doubt, care about each other. Store up plenty of good times in your relationship reservoir to draw on in the hard times. Treat your partner like your best friend.

Tina Tessina, Ph.D., has been a licensed California psychotherapist for more than 30 years. She's authored more than 11 books, including "Money, Sex and Kids."  She can be reached at tina@tinatessina.com.