After Break-up, Humor Helps

Thirty-seven years have passed since Pickett's divorce.The 55-year-old Indianapolis resident leans hard on her sense of humor and has put together a career to be proud of with family and friends all around.

She says she laughs easily and often, finding more humor in the unexpected and the unusual than in triteness. She calls her humor goofy; her friends might use a different word. "I think they would say weird because at one time I can be very witty...other times my humor is caustic and still other times, it's rather predictable," Pickett says.

Whether it's goofy or weird, Pickett has a sense of humor that she wouldn't trade. It's helped her through challenges in a career that has seen her venture into print journalism, work as a commodities broker in the agricultural industry, get her teaching certification and eventually teach high school journalism and English for Ivy Tech Community College in Indiana.

The second of seven children, she notes that her parents are still married, and her family members are her best friends. "Humor is the great equalizer," she says. "It can bring about an atmospheric change in the boardroom as quickly as it can create a breathing space between quarreling spouses or playground rivals. I believe that God has a beautiful sense of humor and has graced us with a portion of it to use as a tool of communication common to all humans. Because of its equalizing properties, I have put it to good use with difficult customers, difficult students and their parents as well as being able to keep myself uplifted and positive."
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Kate Halpin is uplifting and positive. So says her close friend of 11 years, Molly Gressly. Halpin, who lives in Dayton, Ohio, credits her sense of humor for helping her regroup when her first marriage broke up. She rallied behind her self-described "dry, a little sarcastic" disposition and found the good that can come after life's letdowns.

"If you can't laugh you're going to cry and there really isn't a point in crying, especially if you have kids, it just freaks them out," the 43-year-old Halpin says. "You have to move past it the best you can. I found that joking about things and poking fun at yourself is the best way to deal with issues."

Her demeanor impressed and inspired Gressly. The two met on the job at LexisNexis in Dayton, where Halpin still earns her paycheck. "She doesn't get too worried or bent out of shape about things and has always put her daughter's needs before her own," Gressly says of Halpin. "She has been consistent over the years in all areas of her life when I know it has not always been easy."

Halpin finds a big difference between having a sense of humor and being "funny." She's quick to observe that showing true, deep emotion in public can be troubling for those who are nearby, that crying or constant complaining isn't going to "win friends and influence people."

She thinks one reason she was "funny" during her divorce is that her ex-husband got most of the friends after the split. She was left with her work friends and feels fortunate to have transformed them into true friends - those who were willing to stick with her when she needed their contact and support.
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