Getting Divorced? Tips to Help

1. Make sure your decision is final.
Ask yourself if this is really what you want. Make sure you are somewhat resolute in your decision to split. This is the best way to really move on and make a fresh start. Greg Reid of Divorce Magazine recommends that you try everything possible, from mediation to talk therapy, before making the decision to split to ensure you will not have regrets later.  

2. Remove yourself from the situation physically.
It is even harder than usual to move on when you are still involved in each other’s daily life. As soon as possible, one of you should arrange to live elsewhere to give yourselves some emotional breathing room. Even if you communicate daily, the distance will help you begin to accept the situation and heal.

3 Seek counseling.
Texas therapist Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC recommends counseling for couples, whether they are on the verge of divorcing or have made the final decision to split. “Counseling can be a wonderful tool for couples who want to work things out and for those who have decided to divorce,” she said. “An objective 3rd party, giving feedback, can be a great resource. A counselor can help improve communication so you can get past anger to hear and be heard.”  

4 Write your feelings in a journal.
Jotting down how you feel from day to day can serve two purposes: it will help you vent and will assist you and your counselor in assessing your emotional state.  “The sequence of emotions isn't the same for everyone, but most people feel depression, anger, loss/grief, fear at what will happen next and finally acceptance and hope,” McKenna said.

5. Do not give up on life.
Many people become buried in depression and self-doubt after divorce. To combat this, the best thing to do is get out of the house. Meet new people. Join a divorce support group. Try a new hobby. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy being single again.  


Lynda Moultry has been a freelance writer, editor and graphic designer for more than a decade and is the Specialty Products Editor for the Tallahassee. Fla., Democrat. Lynda is also the author of “101 Plus-Size Women’s Clothing Tips."