Process Checklist: Moving Through the Courts

6. CONSIDER HIRING A DIVORCE FINANCIAL EXPERT.
In a collaborative divorce, a financial expert would be part of the process. But if you haven’t agreed to that, you may want to talk with a divorce financial analyst or planner who can help you look at your immediate financial needs and your long-term needs, particularly if you have accumulated a home, had children or added financial assets during your marriage. Deciding whether to keep your home or how to split your assets can be much easier with an expert at your side.

7. KEEP YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF IT.
Divorce is a difficult time for everyone, particularly children. If you have children, remember to keep the kids away from the divorce, any arguments about it or any arguments you may have with your soon-to-be ex spouse. Divorce can have long-term effects on children. However, those effects can be minimal if you and your partner agree to put the children first.  

8. TRY MEDIATION.
Constant court battles take an emotional and financial toll on you and your spouse, regardless of who filed or who is at fault. The court offers trained mediators who can help negotiate an agreement on issues ranging from visitation to custody to support. They can help you keep the emotional and financial costs down in the divorce process.  

9. KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE IN COURT.
If you do end up in a court room, regardless of the circumstances, know how to act, particularly in front of a judge. A judge is a legal expert, who simply interprets the law. He or she will not take a personal stance, no matter how they may feel, about the case. Dress professionally, act courteously and answer truthfully. If you have any questions, most agencies have a Web site where you can research the court rules from depositions to other legal issues – or you can ask your attorney, who is your legal representative in the courtroom.  

10. KEEP A DIVORCE FILE.
If you haven’t already started one, start a divorce file and keep it updated. Depending on the length, issues and contentiousness of your legal proceedings, the file can become large. Try to keep it organized so that you can easily find documents for your financial, emotional or legal experts if need be. The file should also include any written correspondence, e-mail or other documents from your spouse, just in case you may need them in court.  

11. UPDATE YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION.
 Consider your home, auto, life and other insurance policies. If you need to update them with beneficiaries or addresses or the status of your legal name, you should consider any updates. Talk with your attorney about this to make certain you are within your legal rights. Make certain these same issues are considered in any legal, mediation or collaborative process. Click here to read more about updating your financial information...

12. KEEP UP YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM.
If you haven’t already, assemble a group of family and friends, who can help you by listening or lending a hand when need be. Religious organizations often offer support groups for singles, divorced and children whose parents are going through a divorce. Counselors at schools can often offer help to youngsters whose parents are divorcing, as well. And the Internet offers a host of stories and online resources from divorce sites, social networking and other resources.

Tips from this list were culled from experts and articles on divorce360.com. If you have suggestions for this list, please e-mail us at editors@divorce360.com.