Beginning Checklist: Planning to File for Divorce

5. MAKE A PLAN FOR THE CHILDREN.
If you have them, make sure you have all the issues regarding your children figured out. How you plan to tell them is important to discuss. How will you explain the situation and how will you help them cope? Who will have primary custody, where will the kids live, will schools change? What about visitation? Learn what your state's child support laws are. Talk about who will pay for what for the children. If you do not plan to live in the same geographic region after the divorce is final, consider visitation options.

6. DECIDE WHERE TO FILE YOUR PAPERWORK.
If you haven't already, collect all the documents for your attorney. If you have moved to another state or are planning such a move, you will have to decide where you will file for divorce. Some states have residency requirements, so it may be easier in the short term to file in the state in which you were married. However, your new state may have more advantageous laws. You may want to research these options before you hire an attorney. 

7. HIRE AN ATTORNEY.
Find at least three attorneys in your area that specialize in family law. Research their backgrounds and interview them to see which one you feel most comfortable with. Keep in mind that your attorney is not a therapist. Their job is to safeguard your legal rights, not deal with the emotional aspects of your uncoupling. Learn more about the divorce process so you can understand what's happening along the way. Read more....

8.  GET SOME SUPPORT.
Start talking to people who are divorced for real world examples, tips and suggestions on what’s to come. Assemble a group of family and friends, who can help you through this process, either by listening or lending a hand when need be. Consider a therapist, if you haven’t already seen one, who can help you with the emotional impact of a break up. Religious organizations often offer support groups for singles, divorced and children whose parents are going through a divorce. Teachers and counselors at schools can often offer help to youngsters whose parents are divorcing, as well. And, of course, there's always help on the Internet, which has a number of divorce-related resources.

9. START A DIVORCE FILE. 
It could become very hefty over time, depending on the length, issues and contentiousness of your legal proceedings. Try to keep it organized so that you can easily find documents for your financial, emotional or legal experts if need be. Divorce = lots of paperwork. During this difficult time, your world will be easier if you keep all of the paperwork in a place where you can find it quickly.

10. ORGANIZE YOUR FINANCIAL PAPERWORK.
In the steps to consider if you are deciding to divorce, we suggested you gather financial documents from insurance paperwork to house deeds. If you haven’t made copies, you should do that now. Have at least four copies each – your lawyer needs three and you need one for your own personal use. As part of that, you should also have a list of all your financial assets (Equity in home, cars, 401Ks) and liabilities (Credit card debt, mortgage, car payments et al) for yourself and your attorney and financial advisors. Read more about documenting your marital finances... 

11. KEEP SOME PERSONAL ITEMS.
 If you are leaving your home, take any personal items like photographs, jewelry or papers that have special meaning. If your break up becomes heated, or already is, you may not be able to get to those items for some time, if ever. If not, having them with you may simply provide a sense of comfort as you move forward in your new life.  

12. CONSIDER MEDIATORS or COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE.
In this process, a team of legal, emotional, financial and parenting experts work together to help you work through the separation and divorce process as partners. The team will include attorneys, a finance expert and a child care specialist who can keep your family focused on getting through this difficult time with the least amount of damage. Or work through a mediator, who can also help you find a compromise and save money on legal costs, which can rack up. Read more about working together in a divorce....

These tips were collected from experts and articles on divorce360.com. If you have a suggestion to add to the list, please e-mail editors@divorce360.com.