Peter Post's New Year's Etiquette

     New Year’s Eve is only days away. At the stroke of midnight, when the sparkling Waterford crystal ball descends from the flagpole at One Times Square, the cheer that will arise from the millions watching will be both an adieu to the things that occupied time and attention in 2007 and a warm welcome to the delicious new possibilities of 2008.  

In modern times, we’ve streamlined this rite of passage down to a night to get bombed and a day to sleep it off. But, the ancient Babylonians, who first observed New Year’s Eve 4,000 years ago, took 11 days to say farewell to the old things that were passing away and hello to those joys that were yet to appear. Each of those 11 days had different tasks to ease the transition.

Perhaps the ancients knew something that modern man has forgotten — letting go of that which we have clutched tightly so that we may welcome that which we do not yet know is no trivial matter. This is particularly true for families in transition. Some have determined to just get through the holidays before filing for divorce.
 
Thanksgiving is over. Christmas is past. New Year’s Eve is a lump in the throat that means actions are about to be taken that will irrevocably change their lives.   For others, 2007 was horrible. And now that the divorce is over, this is the first New Year’s Eve in a long  time that they won’t be with someone who was once the love of their life.

What to do? How to celebrate? And, how do you keep it all together so you don’t end up with starting the New Year with regrets?  

First, of all, get a grip. “Most people start off with a depressed mentality that takes them through the whole night and into the new year,” said Dr. Gilda Carle, Match.com’s weekly advice columnist for Suddenly Single. “The wonderful thing about New Year’s Eve is when you wake up in the morning, you have a brand new slate.”  

Translation: It’s your life. Ain’t nobody gonna to live it but you. OK, so maybe things aren’t like you always hoped they would be. You’ll have that. So, take out your hanky and give yourself a set amount of time to cry. Go, ahead, play the somebody done somebody wrong song and really emote. Then, when the buzzer goes off, dry those tears. Been there. Done that.

Now start using your new favorite four letter word --- NEXT.

Keep in mind, New Year’s Eve is only one night. It’s not a permanent statement about whether life will ever be good again, but, if you take charge and create a night that’s something you’ll really enjoy, then you send yourself a message that better things are ahead. So, make a plan.  

Don’t have a date? Don’t mope. Call some friends and see if they want to get together. Friends busy? Take yourself to the movies. No money? Check out a DVD at your local library and curl up with a bowl of popcorn. “Talk about what you’re going to be doing with an attitude of positivity rather than, ‘Oh my God, I’m feeling so bad about myself!’” said Dr. Gilda. 

Second, whatever you end up doing on New Year’s Eve, do it with class. At a time when many families look more like the Simpson’s than the Cleavers, classiness is something of a lost art. But, classy people command respect. So, brush up on your etiquette.