divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

effects  :: emotional
Print
Email
It gets complicated for the obvious reasons. What matters is how they relate to one another and to the rest of the work force.

When Your Ex is a Co-Worker


When Your Ex is a Co-Worker


What Happens When You Marry -- and Divorce -- Someone at Work


By LENORE SKOMAL

 
     It’s like he didn’t know there was the potential for huge problems when he asked Sara to marry him. “It wasn’t like we were blind to the fact that this could be a disaster,” said Patrick Cuneo, an editorial writer for a daily newspaper, Erie Times-News, in northwestern Pennsylvania. “We talked about it many times. But my guess is that one or both of us wasn’t ready to be married. And how do you know that until you were in the middle of it?”   

Cuneo says that he and his bride-to-be were aware that getting married and working for the same company had the potential for some major league headaches if the marriage went south. Which it did. “We were married for about a year when she started seeing someone who also worked at the paper,” said the 52 year old. “But no matter who is at fault, whatever the circumstances surrounding the break-up, the outcome creates a bad situation for everyone, including other coworkers who also happen to be your friends.”    


Divorces between employees at the same company are more common than many realized, even in light of the fact that more and more corporations are instituting rules against dating and marriage between coworkers, according to David Rasner, veteran matrimonial lawyer and co-chair of the Family Law Group of Philadelphia-based law firm Fox Rothschild. “I have had many clients in this situation,” said the 61-year old. “It gets complicated for the obvious reasons. What matters is how they relate to one another and to the rest of the work force. What is the chain of command? Do they work on the same floor? Do they see each other a lot?”   

“But it gets much more complicated when one of the spouses is a family member. For instance, if the wife is also the daughter of the owner and marries someone who works at the company.” Which is precisely what Cuneo did. “By far it was the biggest complication. I was married to one of the daughters of one of the operators of the paper who was a board member at the time,” recalled Cuneo.

Being 30 at the time, Cuneo still remembers how difficult it was to face his father-in-law about the divorce. And he was worried about losing his job. “I had to talk to her whole family. It had to be done. So I told her father, our marriage has failed and I still want to work here. This might drive a big wedge in things ” he said. “But surprisingly, he was really wonderful about the whole situation. He was a very nice man, and said all I want for you is to get healthy and survive out of this. He was worried for me as an individual. It was a great support mechanism.”   

Cuneo didn’t lose his job and is still working at the newspaper 20 years later. But in the interim, it wasn’t easy. “It was volatile, especially when the break up was happening. I would get angry calls, outbursts from her. And I was just feeling lousy about all of it. Of course, I was angry and she was angry. There were no physical confrontations, just a lot of awkwardness and volatile telephone calls. And of course, there was the division of friendships, because you both have the same friends and most of them work there. But I learned a valuable thing. When a friend says he wants to remain neutral, he can’t. And won’t. It was so awkward. For months and years to come.”
 

Page: 1 2 Last


divorce New this week::

Transition Institute: Telling Your Spouse You want to Split - Mental Health: The Dos, Don'ts of Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

 

Your Kid Wants To Live With Ex - Tips On How To Cope If Your Child Wants To Change Homes

 

Living with a Habitual Liar? - Relationships: Four Ways You Can Tell if Your Spouse is Telling You a Whopper

 

divorce Community::
popular blogs
Interesting .. Back to School Dance ..
My STBX is refusing to acknowledge that the kids are headed back to their...read more 

Ol' Iron Fists and the Green Car ..
He really doesn't get it or he does and it's just a set up for me to be the bad...read more 

It's all sinking in with this weekend ..
It has taken me almost 48 hours to assimilate what went down over the weekend...read more 

get/give answers
Looking for non conflict ways to deal with the STBX on the legal terms
Ok, so it looks like we are headed to trial. I'm looking for some phrases that...Read Answers/share yours 

High Conflict EX
How does one deal with a high conflict Ex? I have no access to mediation...Read Answers/share yours 

Husband is threatening to destroy our business
My husband and I are going through a divorce. We own a business with another...Read Answers/share yours 

expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 


expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. Are You Reading Your Spouses Text Messages?
Stop! It May Be Illegal & May Hurt Your Case

2. Eager To Check Those Texts?
Think your Spouse is Cheating? Professionals Can Check Text Messages

3. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

4. Office Affairs on the Rise
Infidelity: From Shop Talk to Pillow Talk, Infidelity in the Office is Increasing

5. They Won't Leave? Now What?
You Want a Divorce, but Your Spouse Won’t Leave. Here’s How to Get 'em out