Mercer feels that people who did not experience a divorce in their family as a child may over estimate the degree of negative impact upon the children “in that they have no experiences to rely upon for their own opinions.”
New adds that there are traditional family values that can lead people to overestimate the impact of divorce upon a child. “There are people, especially if there is a religious or moral overtone in the family that divorce is bad, that see it as devastating for the child when, in fact, it may not be. This is more likely to true with people who have no experience with divorce in their family. They may overestimate the negative impact.”
Having gone through her parents’ divorce as well as her own, Mercer concludes that, “I truly believe that it is easier on children to live with a good divorce than a bad marriage.”
TIPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD WEATHER A DIVORCE1. Don’t be self-centered. If you put the child’s needs ahead of your own, the child will come out of it as well as possible.
2. Kids can be selfish. They are concerned about the next seven days and getting the stuff that they want. It may be disturbing for parents as the parent may be looking for emotional support or approval. They can get blown away when the children are only concerned with themselves.
3. It is best to avoid taking the child to court, being evaluated by a judge, or mediation hearings. It is better for the child if they are at grandma’s or day care while the parents figure out the legal matters.
4. Watch for any changes in the child. View changes in moods, behavior, or school performance as a warning sign.
FOR MORE INFORMATION The full report of the July 2007 Pew Research Center report; As Marriage and Parenthood Drift Apart, Public Is Concerned about Social Impact Generation Gap in Values, Behaviors may be downloaded at
http://pewresearch.org/pubs/526/marriage-parenthood
Bruce McCracken is a seasoned journalist and senior analyst for FAO Research. McCracken has an MA in communications from the University of North Texas and resides in Irving, Texas.
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