divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

child  :: effects

Have Kids Under Ten?

Have Kids Under Ten?

What Harm Will It Do To My Kids If We Get Divorced?


Q: I have been married for 11 years and have two children ages 8 and 5. My marriage has been going downhill for the last three years. After seeing a marriage counselor for several sessions, I have come to the conclusion that there is no hope for achieving a happy marriage with my current husband and am considering divorce. How much harm will a divorce do to my children?  

Divorce is a stressful even for children. This stress comes from a variety of sources, including separation from the noncustodial parent (usually the father), perhaps moving and changing schools, a decline in the standard of living, continued postdivorce conflict between parents, and parental remarriage. These stressors place children of divorce at higher risk for a variety of emotional and behavioral problems.

However, current research suggests that most children from divorced families do not suffer from serious psychological problems and develop into well-adjusted adults. In highly conflictual marriages divorce may actually improve the emotional well-being of children relative to staying in a conflicted home environment. The most important factor in a child’s positive adjustment to divorce is that the parents maintain a cooperative relationship throughout the separation, divorce, post-divorce period.

In addition, it is important for both parents to continue to spend time with their children during and after a divorce, and for the custodial parent to support the children’s relationship with the noncustodial parent.  

Caroline Schacht has a master’s degree in home economics and another in sociology. She has been trained as a divorce mediator and a teacher at East Carolina University, specializing in courtship and marriage classes. She is the co-author of several textbooks, including "Choices in Relationships and Understanding Social Problems." She can be reached a cschacht@suddenlink.net.

divorce New this week::

The Truth About 'Divorce-Proofing' And 'Affair-Proofing' Your Marriage - What none of the so-called relationship/marriage experts is willing to admit


Divorce Survival: 5 Tips For Making It Through That First Year - Think you'll never feel normal again?


5 Keys to Co-Parenting Success After Divorce - It won't always be easy


divorce Community::
popular blogs
get/give answers
Divorce stay at home mom and student now
Hello I am not even sure if doing incognito browsing will make me safe but I am...Read Answers/share yours 

I don't know where to start...
I'm sitting here on my computer debating on making "that call" to a lawyer. My...Read Answers/share yours 

I don't know were to start..
I'm sitting here on my computer debating on making "that call" to a lawyer. My...Read Answers/share yours 

expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

2. Are You Reading Your Spouses Text Messages?
Stop! It May Be Illegal & May Hurt Your Case

3. Eager To Check Those Texts?
Think your Spouse is Cheating? Professionals Can Check Text Messages

4. Kids Don't Like New Partner?
Parenting: Advice to Consider When Your Kids Don't Like the New Love in Your Life

5. They Won't Leave? Now What?
You Want a Divorce, but Your Spouse Won’t Leave. Here’s How to Get 'em out