Tips to Keep from Having an Office Affair

8. Think about why you're attracted to a coworker.
Sometimes, regardless of the level of professionalism you exude, you can find yourself attracted to a coworker, despite your best intentions. According to Mona Barbera, author of "Bring Yourself to Love: How Couples Can Turn Disconnection into Intimacy," that’s when a little introspection goes a long way. “If you find yourself attracted to someone at work, think about what they offer you,” she said. “Is it something missing in your own marriage? Excitement? Security? Deep emotional connection? If it is, go back to your marriage and find out why it's missing. If you don't, you will be vulnerable to attractions from other people.”  

9. Don't be a target. 
If a man in your office wants to have an affair, you're a walking target if you seem unhappy. “At a basic level, men will have sex with any attractive woman regardless of his relationship status if there is no chance of him being caught,” said Pounder. “However, since it takes two to tango,  women need to opt-in to the scenario. Women, on the other hand, prefer to have sex with men with whom they have an emotional connection. These types of connections occur by working together, but only during one-on-one scenarios where people are more likely to open up.”   

10. Keep your emotional boundaries.  
“Don’t share too many personal details with the opposite sex in your office. Intimate details should be for your partner. Many times emotional infidelity leads to physical infidelity. If a conversation is becoming too intimate for you, simply redirect the conversation to include your partner or politely direct the person towards professional help,” Alexande3r said. “Erect barriers when you feel a person is getting too close,” added Paul F. Davis, author of “Adultery 101 and Breakthrough For A Broken Heart” (www.PaulFDavis.com ). “If necessary ask your supervisor to intervene or your supervisor's manager if the person making the advance is the supervisor.”      

11. Work on your own relationship with your spouse.
Since affairs at work, no matter how tempting, come with a huge price tag, avoiding them at all costs is the best option. But that can be hard work if you are caught up in the moment, enjoying the attention and only thinking about yourself. “Come out of your cloud of hormones, and think about the repercussions,” Tessina said. “[Know] what you're risking: marital problems or divorce; work problems or loss of job; a lot of emotional stress and heartache.”    

12. Emhasis your current relationship. 
“Put positive effort into your relationship daily. It doesn't matter if you give your partner an extra hug or put the dishes away,” Alexander said. “The fact that you are doing something small to show you care on a regular basis can make all the difference.”

But if you do find that things are not worth it at home, at least have the courtesy to get out before starting something new. “If you are considering cheating, respect your partner enough to end the relationship for the sake of their emotional and sexual health,” she said. “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” 


FOR MORE INFORMATION:

Click here to read a story about the increasing number of office affairs.

Click here to read tips on how to end an office affair.

Click here to read more stories about infidelity and related topics.


Lenore Skomal is author of nine books and columnist of an award-winning weekly column in the Erie, Pa., Times-News, she also teaches college journalism in Pennsylvania.