Proof your Spouse is Cheating

    You think your spouse is cheating and you want to hire a private investigator to find out. Before you do, here are nine questions you should consider before hiring someone to follow your spouse.


1. What does your lawyer think? 
The number one reason people go to private investigators is suspicion a spouse is cheating. But, do so with the full knowledge of your lawyer. “You certainly don’t want to hire a P. I. to do surveillance, conduct covert activities of any kind or take videotape footage of someone, even in a public place, without first consulting your counselor. To do so outside the advice of your lawyer might prove disastrous to your interests in the case,” said James M. Larson, president of Beacon Investigative Services in Marshfield, Mas.  

2. Are they licensed? 
Most states license and regulate private investigators through a state agency, such as the Secretary of State, the Department of Justice or the Department of Consumer Affairs. Requirements vary widely. In California, private investigators have to show proof of 6,000 hours of employed experience and pass an exam. In Washington DC, all they have to do is submit the paperwork, pay their fees, and pass a background check—no prior experience required. There is no P.I. licensing requirement in Alaska, although some cities, such as Fairbanks, have their own licensing requirements and a state business license is required to operate any business in Alaska. Colorado, Idaho, and Mississippi do not require licenses. In South Dakota, there is no P. I. license but a business license through the Department of Revenue is required. Wyoming regulates its private investigators by local jurisdictions. Locate the agency that regulates Private Investigators in your area.  


3. What experience do they have investigating infidelity? 
This is your marriage, don’t trust it to a rookie. Ask what specific training or experience they’ve had.  


4. Will the investigation be conducted using only legal surveillance methods? 
A gumshoe trespassing on private property and peeking through windows is the stuff of Hollywood. Ethical investigators will not break or even bend the law to obtain evidence illegally. It’s generally illegal to obtain account information from financial institutions without the owner’s permission. Depending on the state, it may be illegal to tape conversations without permission of the other party. It’s important to make sure that your private eye will engage in only legal activities because you could be liable for a lawsuit from your soon-to-be ex or her paramour if an investigator engages in illegal practices on your behalf. This site gives surveillance laws for all 50 states.


5. Exactly what do I want to know? 
The type of information you want gathered will determine the length and scope of the surveillance as well as its cost. While proving that a spouse has had an affair may be a bargaining chip at the divorce table, most states have moved away from “fault” in determining divorce settlements. “Even in those states where adultery and other marital misconduct can have an impact on the financial settlement, the impact is often less than people think. If you imagine your divorce as a hypothetical 55/45 split, for example, maybe rock solid evidence of an affair would shift the financial settlement by 10-15 per cent,” said Lee Borden, a lawyer and divorce mediator based in Birmingham, Ala. So, it may not be necessary to torture yourself with detailed (and expensive) information such as names of the little weasels, all the addresses where the dirty deeds took place, the amount of money he spent on her that he should have spent on you, videotapes, audiotapes, etc. It may be enough just to determine whether your spouse is cheating. If so, a stake-out with photos of the louse hanging all over the home wrecker or entering a room at the no-tell-motel with her draped on his arm may give you all the evidence you need.