Is your Spouse Cheating?

    What if there was a way to know if your spouse was prone to cheating? Infidelity expert Ruth Houston says there is. Houston has been studying the topic of infidelity for years, since she had her own personal experience with infidelity. She was transcribing tapes for a magazine article when she discovered a not-so-pleasant surprise. Her recording equipment had accidentally taped her husband in graphic conversations with another woman.

Houston discovered he had been having not just one affair – but several with women in the apartment complex where they lived. Though the relationship ended in divorce, she decided to use her experience to help others, penning a book called, “Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.”

Though she’s been remarried for eight years, to a man whose first wife cheated on him, she’s still studying the topic on marital infidelity. She has interviewed thousands of cheaters, victims, divorce attorneys, marriage counselors and others in her quest to understand the topic. “Some things kept cropping up over and over again in regard to men who did the cheating,” she said.

Men, she said, cheat because they have the opportunity, they want sex or they use it as a way to feel important. Women under the age of 25 often have similar reasons. Women beyond that age usually have affairs because there’s something wrong in their relationship, and they don’t know how to fix it.  

Her most recent focus: seven ways you can tell if your spouse is prone to cheating. “There are certain life experiences, along with personality traits and past history that can tell you whether the man is a potential cheater,” she said.  


SEVEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR SPOUSE IS PRONE TO CHEATING  

1.  Does your spouse thrive on adventure?
“Some men enjoy the suspense and the deception that goes along with an affair. If he is the type of person who enjoys high-risk sports, he probably has the potential to be a cheater,” she said.  

2.  Did your spouse have a great deal of sex before marriage?
“If he had multiple relationships and lots of sex before marriage, he probably will have a difficult time confining his attention to one person,” she said.  

3.  Does your spouse have a lot of friends of the opposite sex?
“It’s a common starting place for affairs. Before you know it, the friendship has morphed into a friendship with benefits,” she said.  

4.  Does your spouse have friends of the same sex that cheat on their spouses?
“Peer pressure is very much alive and well in adulthood. It’s only going to be a matter of time before he’s doing the same thing,” she said.  

5.  Did your spouse have a parent who cheated?
 “If he had a father who cheated and a mother who did nothing about it, he’ll expect the same from you. If you complain about it, he can’t understand what the problem is, because that is what happened in his family circle,” she said.  

6.  Did your spouse cheat in previous relationships?
“If he cheated in previous relationships and there were no negative consequences, he’ll probably do it again,” she said. Consequences can include: sexually transmitted diseases, loss of a spouse, financial costs through divorce and more. “Cheaters become repeaters if they’ve never suffered any negative consequences because of their actions,” she added. “Why would he stop cheating?”  

7.  Does your spouse feel like infidelity is no big deal?
“If this is true, he probably is a potential cheater,” she said.