Cheating Spouse? Get More Money

Oklahoma introduced no-fault divorce in 1953. But, the idea that you could get a divorce without blaming someone didn’t get traction until 1969, when California abolished the old divorce law and replaced it with dissolution based on "irreconcilable differences." By 1985, every state had adopted no-fault divorce. Some no-fault states do allow you to claim fault, penalizing the "at-fault" party“ when deciding who pays attorney’s fees or who will get what property. Some no-fault states also consider fault in spousal support.

3. Know if you live in community property or equitable distribution state.
Even if you don't live in an at-fault state, you still may be able to get more of the marital estate, depending on if you live in a community property state or an equitable distribution state. In community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin), fault is not considered in division of property. However, fault does get in the back door. “Domestic violence is a factor that affects child and spousal support. It’s a kind of fault that could be used to increase the amount or length of time of spousal support,” said Wolfrum. 

All the rest of the states are equitable distribution states. “In these states, the judge has discretion to decide how the property should be divided and the court can consider a number of factors," Wolfrom said. They include: length of marriage, age and health, earnings, the ability of parties to support themselves, their education and who paid for it, property owned and inherited during the marriage, the locality of that property and their future earnings ability.  

4. Ask for spousal support to get back on your feet.
If you’re working through mental health issues after the affair, you may want to have that factored into the settlement. “You can say, ‘I've been married for 20 years and I thought was he was faithful. Then, I found out he was having not just one affair but multiple affairs. I need at least a year of therapy and I want child support and alimony computed on zero income for that year because I’m devastated and emotionally unable to work,’” said Wolfrum.  

5. Go after the home wrecker.
Why should the little home wrecker get away? Stealing a spouse is a form of personal injury, which can be compensated. Depending on the state, injured spouses may be able to file "Alienation of Affection", "Criminal Conversations" or "Intentional Affliction of Emotional Distress" lawsuits against the other wo/man. Even if you don’t go after the paramour, raising the possibility may get you a better deal from your soon-to-be ex.    

"Alienation of affection" is a term that covers interfering with an affectionate relationship. Since 1935, the Alienation of Affections tort has been abolished by most states as an archaic form of revenge. However, if you live in a state where the law is still on the books (Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota and Utah), you may be able to receive some financial compensation. More than 200 such cases are filed annually in North Carolina (where former presidential candidate John Edwards resides), which protects marriages from third party interference.  

In an alienation of affection lawsuit, you don’t have to prove the other wo/man had sex with your spouse, according to Haas McNeill & Associates, a law firm in North Carolina: “The exclusive right of sexual intercourse is not the right protected in this type of case. It’s the actual affection between spouses that’s the right protected.”  

According to the Legal Match Law Library, “It’s often not necessary to show that the third party set out to destroy the marital relationship, but only that he or she intentionally engaged in acts that likely would impact the marriage.”