7DayDetective: Tips to Recognize a Valentine's Cheater

    No other holiday presents such a quagmire for cheating spouses like Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is the traditional day which lovers normally express affection, gifts, thoughts and endless romance. It’s a special day for married couples and significant others. But it ensnares the cheater.

Valentine’s Day is a very enlightening day. A cheating spouse walks a balance beam trying to keep poised while avoiding a fall to one side or the other. Any favoritism factors into this awkward quagmire. Vested spectators notice any hesitancy, limitation or faltering. Surely, a perfect performance is critical. Affection and romance are undoubtedly on display. Any indication of snake oil is consequential.

Unlike the rest of the year the days surrounding Valentine’s Day ensnare a cheating spouse like no other timeframe. Any blunder, oversight or slip up is costly. There are five vital signs detect a cheating heart. They are:

1. Initiating secret communications.
The assortment includes covert messages, e-mails, text messages, e-cards, hang-ups, phone calls from closets or driveways, because cheaters must communicate by trickery.

2. Sharing tangible gifts: 
Purchases of flowers, candles, chocolates, cards, lingerie, virtual gifts, personalized gifts, little sweethearts, internet gifts, music, games, poems, treasured keepsakes, whimsical romance, adult gifts, CD’s, alcohol, or the like, can and do imply inclination and romantic expressions.

3. Change in behavior: 
Being preoccupied, distant, and anxious. They utilize an excuse or argument to escape. Expect to be denied access to informational sources like cell phones, PDA’s, computers, briefcases, wallets, purses, cameras, or vehicles. A fresh focus on their appearance and dress is the norm.

4. Finances:
ATM cash or curious expenditures crop up. A trend of hidden, missing or destroyed charge or bank accounts, pay stubs, statements or records is customary.

5. Perplexed by time: 
Concocting an activity, strange meeting or agenda near Valentine’s Day. Disappearing acts, excuses, lateness, delays call for scrutiny. Cheating spouses wish they could be two places at once. Superheroes they are not! Instead, they just lie about their whereabouts.

These vital signs and others are less important than meeting legal precedents of infidelity. Once in hand, circumstances totally change. Never base your entire discovery effort on warning signs. Instead, shore up your position with evidence that will bring victory in court. This evidence is not only unwise, it is costly.

The real question is distinguishing between fact and fiction. The more you understand cheaters, the easier detection becomes. Adultery is both predicable and discoverable. You must know how to play this complicated game in order to become empowered.

There’s no universally correct and incorrect answer to collect evidence. You need to know what solves your personal mêlée. Each assignment requires a specific plan, actions and facts worth pursuing. More importantly, investigating infidelity hinges on how one reacts to it. Too often, serious mistakes “tip off” cheaters further convoluting this calamity.

Taking advantage of the unique opportunity Valentine’s Day presents is a winning strategy. I highly recommend stepping up your efforts this holiday. After all the more you know the better off you will be and quickly.

Bill Mitchell is a 35-year veteran private investigator and author of “The More You Know - Getting the Evidence and Support You Need to Investigate a Troubled Relationship.” For more information about the book and services, visit http://www.sevendaydetective.com.