Divorce and Death of a Child

3. AVOID PLACING BLAME. 
A serious marital trap after the death of a child is placing blame. Feelings of resentment often occur between parents but can be dealt with in a healthy manner. Realize that reasoning is often clouded by grief. Anger is dangerous and hinders healing. Communication techniques such as expressing yourself with phrases like “I feel bad when you say…” instead of “You make me really mad when you say…” keep blame from the conversation.

4. SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. 
Commonly, men feel loved when they feel they are valued. Women feel love when they are shown compassion. Sex plays a very unique role with each gender. Men often need sex to feel loved by their wife while women may feel that sex is wrong after such a loss, but their need to touch may become more prominent.

5. GET COUNSELING.
From your church, a support group or a professional, counseling can help. For more information on Loder's group, go to compassionatefriends.com.http://compassionatefriends.com
 
6. TALK TO EACH OTHER.
Communication is the key. If couples keep talking through the grief and their feelings for one another, the tragedy can actually become an experience that makes the marriage stronger in the long run.