More Men Target of Domestic Abuse

     Former NFL star Steve McNair was shot dead by a girlfriend.  McNair, 36,  a married man, was shot four times in his sleep on the Fourth of July by a girlfriend that was 16 years his junior.  The girlfiend, Sahel Kazemi,  then killed herself.   According to the police, Kazemi was upset about  financial problems and believed that McNair was seeing someone else.

According to the Department of Justice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey, nearly 900,000 men are victims of physical violence by a domestic partner. That roughly translates to a man being beaten every 38 seconds. The government counts both heterosexual and homosexual male victims of abuse in the study. 

In general, the gender breakdown of callers to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is 85 percent women to 15 percent men.  From 2003 to present, male victims calling the hotline represent a mere 2.41 percent of all calls. Even so, NDVH have recorded calls for help from 19,046 men in that five-year period.  

“Many male victims/survivors do not report or discuss the abuse against them,” says Emily Toothman, a spokesperson for the NDVH.  “In light of this, these numbers should not be used as an extensive study of male domestic violence victims in our country. However, I hope these numbers offer some insight into this relatively unidentified population.” 

Of the men living with abusive women, most do not report incidents of abuse to police unless the injury is significant enough to result in emergency medical care. The primary reason for non-reporting is shame. Because of this trend, scientific studies by a number of renowned universities and social agencies, and governmental departments such as the Department of Justice, uncover a better picture of this victim group than police and court records. 

Studies show that men are more likely to be hit with an object or stabbed while women are more likely to be hit with a fist, kicked or shot.  While abused men remain in the relationship for many reasons, the top three reasons, according to the Department of Justice report are:  

1. Protecting their children.
Fearing the courts will automatically give custody to the mother, the father worries that his children will be abused if they leave the family home. 

2. Assuming blame.
In this situation, men buy into the woman’s reasons for delivering abuse rather than recognizing the abuse is unreasonable. This trait is common among both women and men. 

3. Dependency.
The man is dependent on the woman for financial, social, or emotional support and fears the loss of such if he leaves the relationship. This trait, too, is shared between women and men suffering abuse.  

“The good news is that organizations like the NDVH help both men and women. We can even direct men to support groups and help lines in their own communities,” says Patty Perez, spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

The toll free number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), and the web site address for more information is http://www.ndvh.org/ .