divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

causes-of-divorce  :: abuse
Print
Email

Domestic Violence Happens Every 15 Seconds


Domestic Violence Happens Every 15 Seconds


Is This Happening To You?


By CLARE HEICKLEN

    Every 15 seconds a woman in the U.S. is a victim of domestic violence. Statistics show that 60 percent of men who abuse women also abuse children. Women abusing men is on the rise. There are three types of abuse: physical, sexual and verbal abuse. Abuse is a pattern, there is never a last time.              

How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship? The behavioral characteristics of a batterer are: isolates you from friends and family, overly possessive, intimidates you, controls finances, discounts your accomplishments, blaming, impulsive, intolerant, humiliates, checks up on your whereabouts, displaces anger on child or pet, never is wrong, and overly dependent on you. 


The cycle of violence includes three phases. 

Phase 1: Tension building.
Phase 2: Explosion/battering.
Phase 3: The honeymoon/remorse phase. 

The cycle repeats itself with the violence increasing. Without long term counseling, batterers lack the understanding or the emotional resources to change, no matter what they tell you. You and your children are in danger. Studies show that children exposed to domestic violence suffer the same emotional symptoms similar to combat soldiers.               

Should you consider leaving, you must prepare a comprehensive safety plan. What to have: phone numbers, shelter numbers, secret code words for you and the children, rehearse the plan to leave the house, have four destinations to go to, remove weapons from the home, keys, clothes, cash, medicine, important papers for you and children, insurance papers, custody orders, restraining orders, divorce papers, address book, personal affects, care for pet, open a bank account and get a job.
 
Do not tell your spouse where you are under any circumstances. You are most at risk when leaving an abusive relationship. Call the National Resource Center for Domestic Violence 1-800-537-2238. 

Clare Heicklen is a marriage family therapist with an M.A. in clinical psychology. She has worked in private practice in adult, child and family therapy and is a member of the American Associationf or Marriage and Family Therapy. She can be reached at pmjh@sbcglobal.net .




divorce New this week::

Ask the Attorney: Should I Divorce while Pregnant? - And Yes, the Baby is His…

 

Should You Warn The Next One? - My Ex Did Me Wrong, But I’m Not Sure if I Should Kiss and Tell

 

The Divorce Organizer: Visitation is for Kids - It Belongs to Your Child, Not You

 

divorce Community::
popular blogs
Sexting
So, I have found out that my husband has been sexting another female. When I...read more 

He left me 6 months pregnant . for another girl or not?
My husband and I were together for 11 years. We have a 9 year old girl...read more 

Free 10M neverwinter astral diamonds on safewow.com is wating for you on 2014 Easter
A lot of us have come across to Asia from Europe, where summer is still a long...read more 

get/give answers
Should I sstay or should I go?
I have been married four years to a very wonderful man. He has 4 children and I...Read Answers/share yours 

Husband is an addict and now he's trolling craigslist personals.
My husband is an addict who always lies about everything. He recently relapsed...Read Answers/share yours 

When do you know that you have tried everything?
We have been to 3 different marriage councellers during the last 5 years. The...Read Answers/share yours 

expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 


expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. Eager To Check Those Texts?
Think your Spouse is Cheating? Professionals Can Check Text Messages

2. Are You Reading Your Spouses Text Messages?
Stop! It May Be Illegal & May Hurt Your Case

3. The Signs Of A Controlling Spouse
If Your Spouse Is Doing This, They Are Controlling

4. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

5. They Won't Leave? Now What?
You Want a Divorce, but Your Spouse Won’t Leave. Here’s How to Get 'em out