Did Threats Turned to Violence in Hudson Case?

Money or not, it takes a certain type of person to cross over from being angry about having to ante up to actually murdering a spouse. That type of person can come in varying shades, according to Van Wormer, but in some situations, you are dealing with a very specific personality disorder for which there is no internal mechanism about right and wrong.   

“Antisocial types don’t have a conscience. They don’t love the woman or have strong emotional feelings toward her because they are not capable of them,” she said. “The best thing you can do with antisocial killers is lock them up. There is no help.”    

Another characteristic these men share is their powerful controlling natures. “Killing someone is the ultimate expression of control,” said Mary Jo Fay, 52, a self-proclaimed survivor-turned-advisor who has authored several books about narcissistic relationships including the self-published "When your Perfect Partner goes Perfectly Wrong." “These men have a paradigm, a belief system. Everything is under their control. Everyone jumps when he says jump. And you the mate suddenly change that, or you walk out and leave, you are threatening his belief system in himself. You just left, and if he is control of everything, that just doesn’t fit.”   

And at that point, when the wife actually leaves, according to Van Wormer, she is at the most risk for her safety. “These killers, they strike out then. When she tries to get away it is the most dangerous time, and they will stalk her to the end of the earth.”   

But there is hope, at least for those who are not what Van Wormer calls un-treatable. “There have been studies done with battering men. But they were the ones who wanted help, they were begging for help. The studies do show a lot can be done, by helping them work on their feelings. It is a cognitive approach that helps them work on their own victimization and help them control their irrational feelings.”    

Toward that end, her new book recommends a revamping of the current model used to help treat incarcerated batterers. “Some of these interventions have not been effective at all because they are based on feminist models,” she explained. “They put them in groups and they tell them that they are playing these power games, that violence comes from a patriarchal society. But the problem is that these men see themselves as victims, of the woman, the court, the judge who sent them into treatment, victims in society. They think the women outsmarted them. That’s why the treatment has to be individualized.”   

Van Wormer remains hopeful that treating batterers will eventually help diminish the number of deaths each year. “There is level of effectiveness to intervention. Most men who are arrested, according to a massive study, are not re-arrested. If they are arrested and complete treatment, the treatment doubles their chances of not being re-arrested for domestic violence,” she said.  


Photo by: Scott Aza Jordon


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Lenore Skomal is author of nine books and columnist of an award-winning weekly column in the Erie, Pa., Times-News, she also teaches college journalism in Pennsylvania.