10 Tips to Recognize Abuse

    How do you know if you're involved in an abusive relationship? If you're married and struggling, it's sometimes difficult to tell. Here are some tips to help:

1. You are making excuses for your partner. Behaviors that are unacceptable (such as lying, cheating, stealing, or hitting) become defendable in your eyes.

2. You slowly lose touch with your family and friends.

3. Your partner is your only means of social interaction.

4. Your partner is extremely jealous of any conversation you have with the opposite sex; might even grill you after you get home from work.

5. If you have children, you will be berated for not being good enough to be their parent.

6. Confidence you once had in yourself will be gone.

7. You will no longer be looking others in the eye when talking to them.

8. Your partner will have you convinced that no one else will want you and that you will never make it without him/her.

9. You no longer take pride in your outward appearance.

10. Home becomes more of a prison than a sanctuary. 

This breaking down of a human being takes a period of time, it does not happen overnight. Even the most experienced abuser needs time. If a controlling person can persuade someone into their lair, the victim never sees it coming, and is not aware that their own persona is gone.




Brenda Youngerman is an advocate of domestic violence legislation and author of th"Private Scars and Public Lies" as well as "Hidden Truths." You can learn more about her at www.brendayoungerman.com.