Single Parenting: Working Divorce

    
To help start you thinking about what these acts are, reflect on the 10 Articles of Consideration below, and see if you are willing to sign them for the sake of allying with your ex-spouse, for the sake of your children. 
    
1. I will be reliable.
I will keep the arrangements I make with you and the children. You can count on my word. 

2. I will be responsible.
I will honor my obligations to provide for the children. As agreed, I will provide my share of their support.

3. I will be appreciative.
I will let you know ways in which I see you doing good for the children. And I will thank you for being helpful to me. 

4. I will be respectful.
I will always talk positively about you to the children. If I have a disagreement or concern, I will talk directly to you. 

5. I will be flexible.
I will make an effort to modify childcare arrangements when you have conflicting commitments. I will try to be responsive to work with unexpected change. 

6. I will be tolerant.
I will accept the increasing lifestyle differences between us. I will accept how the children live with us on somewhat different terms. 

7. I will be supportive.
I will back you up with the children when you have disciplinary need. I will not allow them to play one of us against the other. 

8. I will be involved.
I will problem solve with you when the children get in difficulty. I will work with you to help them. 

9. I will be responsive.
I will be available to help cope with the children’s emergencies. I will be on call in times of crisis. 

10. I will be reasonable.
I will talk through our inevitable differences in a calm and constructive manner. I will keep communicating until we work out a resolution that is acceptable to us both. 

By subscribing to the ten articles of consideration, you model behavior that you encourage in return, and you strengthen the alliance with your ex-spouse, as he or she is encouraged to do with you. 


Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., is the author of more than 20 books, including “Keys to Single Parenting.” To learn more about him, please go to his Web site at www.carlpickhardt.com.