Missing Your Kid after Divorce?

    Michael Gough has a “hobby.” It is virtual visitation. While the Craft and Hobby Association probably doesn’t recognize the idea, Gough maintains it is his pastime nonetheless. “This is a hobby. It found me. I didn’t find it,” Gough said of virtual visitation.  

In many respects, however, Gough could easily be considered a founding father of virtual or online visitation. Today, he certainly serves as a major advocate and information source hosting not one, but two, Web sites on the topic. 

Currently residing in Wisconsin, Gough’s story begins in Utah when his ex-wife decided to relocate to the Cheesehead State with their daughter. Already a computer savvy professional, Gough requested visitation with his daughter via electronic resources including e-mail, video mail, text messaging, video calls and any other applicable technology.  “I went to court and asked for this option,” he said. “She (the ex-wife) disagreed … and the judge was unfamiliar with it. That put me in a ‘I had to prove this would work’ situation.”  

Gough teamed up with his lawyer to build a successful case for virtual visitation. “We decided to do a presentation in court with my mother, who is completely computer literate,” he said. “I got it awarded as part of my divorce.” But Gough’s journey didn’t stop there. “I thought all that effort was crazy, so I asked my lawyer to help me educate other lawyers,” he said.  

Educate is exactly what Gough did. To begin, the computer security expert set up two Web sites – InternetVisitation.org and InternetVisitation.net.   InternetVisitation.org boasts the following mission: “To help educate and provide information about Virtual Visitation and to help promote legislation worldwide.”

Thanks in large part to Gough’s drive, virtual visitation – also called electronic communication – is represented in state law for Utah, Wisconsin, Texas and Florida. The .org site tracks legislation efforts. Currently, there are efforts in 27 states and bills in seven additional states regarding virtual visitation. The Web site’s .net counterpart, on the other hand, features numerous resources on facilitating virtual visitation.

One of the many things Gough does to contribute the virtual visitation cause comes in the form of a handbook. “I developed this thing called a virtual visitation handbook, which I’ve been giving away free now for several years,” he said.

The handbook can be downloaded at his .org site for less than $5. The small fee also includes several other resources offered through the sites premium service. Gough personally updates the handbook annually and is almost finished with the fourth edition. “I really cover the gamut,” he said of the handbook.  

Gough doesn’t, however, charge a lot for the publication or the additional services. “Divorce is expensive enough, we don’t need to add to that cost,” he said. He also offers information and resources for attorneys and judges as part of his services on the site.


NOT JUST FOR PARENTS

Gough resides in Wisconsin. He made the journey east to fill the physical gap between himself and his daughter. While the duo can now enjoy more time face to face, they can also utilize virtual visitation. In Gough’s case, he opted to use his visitation rights to bargain for more in-person time, he said.  “This is not only for long distance situations, but also for local,” he said. “Being a few miles away … I could have a video call theoretically and do flashcards and homework. It can be used in a lot of ways. There shouldn’t be a limited factor in using this.”  

As Gough proved in his court case, you don’t have to be a computer geek to take part in a virtual visitation session. This means even older, less computer savvy, generations can take advantage of electronic communication too. “My daughter gets to see her grandparents and great grandparents more than she normally would,” Gough said.  

Chuck Mason of Virginia also utilizes virtual visitation for more than just his personal relationship with is daughter, Arielle. “When she is here, I put her on the computer, schedule a call with her mom,” Mason said. “It really works well with Arielle on both sides of the country.”  

Mason also agrees with Gough that visitation can take place despite the lack of distance between participants. “It doesn’t matter if you across the country, or across town … it just requires two people who are willing to do this,” he said.