Solution Lady: Starting Over after Divorce

Q: What is starting over really like?
A: Here are some thoughts.

1. Scary as hell.
Sometimes you can let the fear take over and stifle you. You can do this and feel sick, exhausted and drained. It may be scary at first, but when you take it one step at a time and one day at a time you’ll be ok. 

2. A whole bunch of unknowns and new things.
Everything that happens to you when you first separate is new; new feelings, new things, new beginnings. Believe that this part of your life is just as important as the previous parts and that you must go through it to learn the lessons of life that will bring you a step closer to where you are intended on being. 

3. A dark closet until you bring some light into it. 
When you’re in a dark closet you won’t see anything in front of you until you open the door slightly. As the door opens wider you start seeing some shapes but not the colors. It’s a bit like separation at the beginning; dark and gloomy. As the light begins to seep through, you begin to see the shapes even clearer now and you can choose the piece of clothing you want to wear. It won’t be a shot in the dark. 

4. Like watching a storm and not knowing when its going to end.
Have you ever looked out the window and witnessed a storm where the garbage cans and tree branches were flying by, where people would hold onto their jackets and hats while being gently swept across the streets?

Your new life doesn’t have to be that complicated. Take it for what its worth, a new experience, an opportunity to connect with other people and to live with a different understanding.    


Linda G. Robert M.A., M.Ed., is known as The Solution Lady for personal, self-care, wellness and life solutions. She's worked in the mental health field and education field for several years as well as in law enforcement. Find out more about her at www.lindarobert.ca. Check out her newest booklet at http://www.myarticles.thesolutionlady.com/index.html.