Online Dating after Divorce

Four Ways to Know You Should Take Down Your Online Profile   

  In the world of online dating, your profile is your personal marketing statement. Written to showcase your best qualities as well as give some hints about the type of match you’re looking for, the well-crafted profile and photos function as a romantic resume designed to entice your future soulmate. When that first wink leads to a flurry of e-mails, which lead to phone conversations, and finally to a date or two, should you take down your profile while you explore the possibilities with this match? 

In the not-so-distant past, those with questions about how to handle decision points in their love life often turned to family for counsel. However, unless your parents are part of the fastest growing segment of online daters, the suddenly single baby boomers, they’ve never faced the kind of dating dilemmas cyberspace can pose. “Unlike previous generations who turned to family for dating guidance, online daters don’t have the benefit of getting advice from parents and grandparents about how to handle situations like when to take down your profile,” said Trish McDermott, VP of Love for Engage.com. “This is new technology. It’s good; but, it does create some awkward social situations.”  

Among those awkward situations is knowing when and how to signal your intentions. In the world of cyber-dating, taking down your profile often signals an intention to take yourself “off the market” so you can focus on exploring possibilities with a special match. “It’s like laying down your cards,” said McDermott. “It says I’m interested in you and I don’t want to date anyone else.” 

Do you wait for the perfect match or enjoy the great match you’ve got? With some online dating services boosting upwards of 15 million members, the sheer size of the sea means online dating offers lots of potential fish. Therein lies part of the problem in deciding when to take down your profile. Do you continue trolling, so the big one doesn’t get away? Or, do you take your profile down until you figure out what to do with your current catch?  

“Online dating has changed the world,” said McDermott. “The overwhelming opportunity it offers can corrupt the romantic process. There’s always the thought there’s someone else right around the corner. So, online daters can have a kid in the candy store mentality. Otherwise reasonably mature daters can hesitate to take down their profile just in case someone a little better, cuter, thinner, taller, or richer is right around the corner. It’s important to remember that people are not commodities. If you meet someone special, you’re very lucky and you should do everything you can to cultivate the relationship.”