Dr. Romance: Learning to Date Again

If your last relationship lasted for a while, dating again can be a scary proposition. There’s a lot of misinformation in movies and on TV about how to find a romance. The following tips will help you relax and know that you’re behaving appropriately.

1. Do shop around.
Don't stay focused on one person until you've given yourself a choice.

2. Do listen.
Don't monopolize the conversation. You'll learn even more about your date, and be more relaxed.

3. Do focus on friendship.
This early, you can't know where it might go, so concentrate on developing the friendship. You can have as many friends as you want.

4. Do get feedback. 
Offer your comments on the event or the restaurant, and ask your date what he or she thought of it, for future reference.

5. Do let your date know if you enjoyed his/her company.
A complement is always welcome. If you'd like to do it again, say so.

6. If you promise to call, mean it.
If you've decided not to continue the relationship but feel you can't say so, don't make empty promises.

7. Do tell the truth -- don't lie, but also don't share too much too soon. 
You don't need to tell your date about other dates if you two have no agreement about exclusivity.

8. Do pay attention to the clues about your date.
You need to learn about this person's character, not just looks and charm.

Tina Tessina, Ph.D., has been a licensed California psychotherapist for more than 30 years. She's authored more than 11 books, including "Money, Sex and Kids."  She can be reached at tina@tinatessina.com.