Book Review: Still Hot

    One day, you wake up, log onto your home computer and find out your husband has been e-mailing someone named "Hotbabe32." That's when you begin to realize your once loving spouse has turned into Don Juan, bald head and all. That's what Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing discovered about the respective spouses.

The two women, who "met when their children were toddlers" say they "reconnected when their husbands toddled off." Instead of letting the mid-life crises of their former mates get them down, the two women turned their divorce experiences into a hilarious guide with tips to the newly single lifestyle. The book, "Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite and Happily Ever After," was published by Running Press books, $12.50, earlier this year. Divorce360.com caught up with them a few months after the release and asked them a few questions about their creative effort.

Divorce360.com: What prompted you to write "Still Hot"?
Sue: It started out innocently enough. We were meeting for lunch regularly to commiserate about our divorces. To our surprise, we found ourselves giggling and snickering. We decided to take notes, and before long we were interviewing scores of women who had fallen down the same rabbit-hole. It snowballed into the book we wished we could have read when we first realized that our marriages were toast!   
Linda: It's the guide each of us desperately needed and couldn't find anywhere when we were going through separation and divorce.  


Divorce360.com: The disclaimer says more than 100 women were interviewed for the book. How much of the book is their experience versus yours?
Sue: The book was inspired by our own experiences, but the contents really reflect those of other women -- tweaked a bit to bring out the humor! Most important, we found that there were huge common denominators among all of our experiences.
Linda: I'd say that jointly our experiences might total 15-20 percent of  the book.    


Divorce360.com: Was it tough to write "Still Hot" together, given you both sound like you'd be laughing too hard to remember where you were in the writing?
Sue: It was so much fun to write. We'd come up with hilarious lines and crack each other up while we were typing. 
Linda: We did laugh a lot and generally we had a good time cracking each other up. Any time we tried to include something, even if we felt it was good solid advice, we left it out if we couldn't make it funny. There's more than enough serious good  advice out there from psychologists and clergy members. Our aim was simply to make this difficult life passage smoother with humor.

Divorce360.com: What's the best tip you can give our readers about how to get over a man who just dumped you for a blonder model?
Sue: Understand that it's not about you. The hair on his head is thinning, his waistline is thickening, and he's trying to escape his fears of death and decrepitude through a younger, blonder babe.
Linda: Realize that it's about him -- it's not your fault. And we do have some wonderful examples of how rewarding spite can be.

Divorce360.com: Do you really think women can, as the book suggests, "Shop for Justice," and make themselves feel better?
Sue: Retail therapy is a great remedy. After my husband moved out, my 21-year-old daughter went online and ordered a dozen thongs with matching bras for me. Then the two of us went on a shopping spree. We called it "the jihad."
Linda: Well, it certainly doesn't make you feel any worse to change your image from soccer mom stodgy to single mom sexy. Men will notice, and more importantly, so will you.  

Divorce360.com: Given the introduction in your book, do you think all men go through a mid-life crisis phase and look for a "newer model" or is there some hope for women?
Sue: There are certainly good men who stay in their marriages. Either they don't go through that mid-life stage of questioning and depression, or they find a healthier outlet for it -- like a sports car or hair plugs.
Linda: Both of us have more married girlfriends than single ones. The majority of married guys we know deal with their mid-life crises by zooming around in a red convertible or on a Harley. Or maybe they take up the electric guitar. They feel younger and better with these new toys and they stay with their wives and families.

Divorce360.com: How do you stop yourself from repeating --- over and over again -- the same old stories about how your ex turned into an alien?
Sue: At first you can't get your head around it, so you talk about it to your girlfriends or your shrink until they're bored to death. Eventually you even start to bore yourself! And once you rebuild your life, you move on and realize it's not worth analyzing anymore, especially because you'll never fully understand it.
Linda: When your friends cut you off in mid-sentence and tell you they've got to go when you start in on this topic for the umpteenth time, you have no choice. You've got to realize that the stories are getting old and as a matter of fact you're even boring yourself. So you brush up on current events and talk about Senator Obama's educational policy instead.

Divorce360.com: What's the best thing you can do if you're spouse asks you for a divorce?
Sue: Start interviewing lawyers, even if you think there's a chance you can save your marriage. It's never too early to start doing your homework by learning how to protect yourself legally and financially. And pay close attention to the bank statements and credit-card bills -- he is likely spending wads of your money on someone named Samantha. Save records of everything. If you're really headed for divorce, stay in the house with the kids and make him leave. If you allow him to remain in a separate bedroom, next thing you know, during the negotiations he'll refuse to move out unless you fork over the Mercedes, the 401(k), and the bronzed baby shoes.
Linda: Short of hitting him over the head with a frying pan? Probably the best route is to try couples counseling together. If that doesn't work, and he's clearly already decided, all you can do is make sure you have the best lawyer in town and lean on your A-list girlfriends -- they are your most valuable asset.  

Divorce360.com: Based on your experiences and interviews, what's the best thing that comes from divorce?
Sue: (Whether you wanted it or not.) You discover strengths and capabilities that you never knew you had. You learn how to be self-sufficient, as you were before you got married. You lean on your sister or your good friends, and that brings you closer to them.   
Linda: A whole new underwear wardrobe and a better sex life than you've  had in the past 20 years. also, confidence in yourself and your ability to survive anything.