While some memories are good to hang on to, others keep us stuck or close us down. It's like recharging rechargeable batteries. After awhile you have got to purchase new batteries and charge them up. A friend of mine told me recently “You’ve got to completely drain your battery and completely recharge it”. He was talking about the battery I purchased for my laptop, of course. But the same applies when you’re newly single. You’ve got to recharge yourself with new memories. Then, and only then will you actually be able to fully be with someone else.
1. Make any new experience about you, not about the other person that you are with.
For years while you were with your partner, you may have gotten used to associating certain times with the other person, thus creating lasting memories with them. For years, you thought of yourself as a couple, not as an individual in a relationship. So, now that you’re single, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings when reliving experiences that may be similar to what you’ve lived before. Find something that makes it unique; something that makes it yours. Make it about you and not about ‘us’ or ‘we’. Tap into all of your senses to capture this new moment in your life. Make it significant for you.
2. Create new memories using all of your senses.
Visit and experience new places, listen to new music, taste new foods, watch new movies, immerse yourself in ‘new’ activities so that you can begin to create new memories and forget or change the old ones. By creating new memories of you as a single person, you come to accept and enjoy your new life, keeping your memories nice and light, not draining. Linda G. Robert M.A., M.Ed., is known as The Solution Lady for personal, self-care, wellness and life solutions. She's worked in the mental health field and education field for several years as well as in law enforcement. Find out more about her at www.lindarobert.ca. Check out her newest booklet at http://www.myarticles.thesolutionlady.com/index.html.