Do You Need a New Do?

    Emotionally, recovering from a divorce isn’t easy. But for some people, a simple visit to the salon is the first step in moving on. “I had one woman who was divorcing after 15 years of marriage and her hair [had been] long during the entire marriage,” said Erica Carr, stylist at The Barber Lounge in San Francisco, Calif. “She had considered cutting it before she had children, but her then-husband gave her such a hassle when she mentioned the idea. I gave her a classic bob with long flippy layers. She had never looked better. I finally saw the confidence that was trapped under all the hair she was hiding behind.”

Do you want a new hairstyle but are afraid of losing too much length? On some people, highlights or vibrant color can be just as dramatic as a new cut. “A client of mine broke off her engagement to a man she had been dating for four years,” said Marie Hansen, owner of MarieMarieSalon in Atlanta, Ga. “She had always had blonde highlights, and when they broke up, we colored her hair chocolate brown. Brown definitely suited her better than blonde, so she looked stunning. Everyone at her work loved it and so she had positive affirmation from all her friends in the middle of a rough time. I believe it helped her feel better about her decision.”
 
Women aren’t the only ones who benefit from a post-divorce haircut. “Men need to feel as if they are different than when they were with their wives,” said Marjorie Hope Rothstein, owner of Starting Over Services, a residential makeover service for men. “Getting a new hairstyle is a good start. Like women, men need a change in their appearance to feel uplifted.”

New York City family and marriage therapist Rachel Sussman agrees with Rothstein. She also feels that a new look can help a person move on after a breakup. “Often after a divorce our self-esteem can take a bit of a hit -- especially if the divorce is acrimonious,” she says. “Therefore it's important to have a time to regroup and take care of ourselves.”

However, Sussman recommends taking precautions in order to avoid being disappointed by an unflattering hairstyle. “Taking a subtle approach and going to a reputable salon will minimize the chance that you may not be happy with your new look,” she says.
 
Instead of drastically changing your style, Sussman suggests starting with a smaller change that might be easier to accept. A frank discussion with your stylist can also help you achieve favorable results. “If you want to make sure you can go forward with a cut or color and are not sure of what you want, make a consultation appointment,” says M.J. Niven, owner of Vine Street Salon in Berkeley, Calif.  “A good stylist will listen, analyze your hair and be able to tell you what is realistic or not.”
 
Are you unsure how to describe your desired look? Hansen suggests findings pictures of people who have hairstyles that you like. “Bring the pictures to your stylist for a consultation and he or she will be able to tell you if it is an achievable [color] for you.”