divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Question of the Day - March Money

Question of the day :: Archive

Divorce has made me _______________. (fill in the blank)  

posted by divorce360

Answers for "Divorce has made me _______________. (fill in the blank)"  (20) (You must be logged in to answer)

Divorce has made me strong and determined.  When I tried to get a personal loan to hire a divorce lawyer I found that I had no credit and that my name was not on anything, even though we had been together 12 years.  Over the years I learned that he was emotionally and physically selfish but that was the icing on the cake.  It was from that point on that I decided that the only person I could count on was for sure was myself and that I would never depend on anyone to get anything for me, I would do it myself.  It took a while but I landed a great job, bought my own car (which is now paid off) and I recently bought my own home with MY name on the title... er, loan.  It has been 8 years since the divorce and I have come a long way from being a dependent to being independent and proud.
by LadyJane   4 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 7:47 PM

lose weight....
by MACMom   5 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 4:00 PM

....realise that you can either sink or swim...you can dwell in the past or you can choose to move on. You can torture yourself trying to find the answers or you can begin to think about adjusting to your new life. You can stand there and point the finger of blame or you can reflect on your own mistakes and vow never to make them again.
Give yourself time to grieve and know that there is life after as long as you don't carry your bitterness into it.

Good luck to you as you tread the path of a new life.
by julesy   5 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 2:13 PM

Divorce has made me happy why because I can live the rest of MY life as I see fit. I found that you really don't need no one's ok you can do this or you can do that all the time , it's nice but you just don't need it . I do not feel lonely I do not feel sad just happy and blessed that I saw this thru long enough (14) years that I can spend and save my money on me and whatever or whome ever I WANT TO
by sho   3 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 11:16 AM

This divorce has made me a sad but stronger and more self reliant person. I can not depend on others to make my happiness. For too long I depended on my husband to be happy. Now after letting go  the feelings of disapointment, betrayal and loss, I am depending on my self to make my own happiness. I, with the help from my friends, am getting over the devestation of betrayal by the one I have trusted with my everything. I have also learned to be happy with myself first and to place my feelings first for now.
by dumpedafter30years   66 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 7:07 AM

A shell of a person. I have learned that there is no such thing as "forever". That there is a thin line between love & hate. After 26 years of marriage I find myself living with my mom. And yet even today I ask myself how "the one for me" could end up being so wrong? How could two people that loved each other so much end up being two people that make each other so miserable? How there was nothing left once the kids left home? The couples that last "till death do them part" what is the secret they had that we missed?
Do I feel like a failure? Yes. But as they say life goes on and so even though I don't want to get out of bed, I get up every moring and put a smile on my face but inside I'm just that funny little clown with the tear running down my face :(
by tweetymk   1 Post
Posted on 3/22/2008 1:09 AM

so sad and lonely, I thought we were together  for better or worse but it turn out that it only meant only for when it was convenient for you and only you. Now I find myself alone to the carry the pieces of my broken heart hoping and praying that the next day will be better than today.
by sally44   12 Posts
Posted on 3/22/2008 12:47 AM

Divorce has made me terribly sad.  I can't imagine trusting someone with my heart again.  But I know that being alone isn't the answer either.   I just need to give myself time to heal, and then I need to really get to know someone again, and not rush in to anything just to keep from being alone.   I don't want to ever repeat a divorce experience again.  There has got to be a "happily ever after" out there somewhere.
by heartbroke   7 Posts
Posted on 3/22/2008 12:23 AM

Divorce has made me a very untrusting person. I'll never trust anyone again. My "knight in shining armor" walked out on me after 26 years for a 25 years old. I will spend the rest of my life alone because of him. He has cheated me out of the rest of my life. Life is so painful now. I feel that our life was such a waste. The memories are to painful to remember. I do have 3 wonderful sons. That is the only thing good that became of this marriage. and that is the only thing keeping me here.
by tinman   3 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 10:40 PM

Divorce made me realize how very important it is to be sure one has the right mate to begin with.
Too many lives are effected and hurt by one person's decision to bale out, but one has to bear in mind
it takes two to make or break a marriage. Marriage is not the warm fuzzies: it is making a commitment to another person
and should be for life. Too many times we feel, the grass is greener in the other pasture, until one gets there and sees
all the weeds, the thorny places, the dry places and the muck and mire. Wise counseling is perhaps the best step one
can take when divorce appears to be the answer. Trying to make the relationship work  is the big trick and getting both to agree to seek that counsel is a must! At least be sure the differences/problems are irreconcilable! Once that is determined, mapping out a plan for how one is to proceed and seeking all available resources and assistances available to make a go of the road life is taking one down is key. Working to remain friends ~ especially for the sake of the children involved is key. When children of divorce reach adulthood, they inevitably wind up sharing they always felt THEY caused the divorce and live with that guilt. Maybe if we ask ourselves "is this what I want for my child?" we would reconsider and seek help to make it work out. My biggest question is: "Was divorce really a solution?" Where there is a will to work  it out, there is a way: both of us needed to forgive, to trust and to commit if we had done that, we could have made it and saved so many so much needless grief and turmoil. That's what I learned from my divorce.

by contemplating   1 Post
Posted on 3/21/2008 10:28 PM

Independent. Proud of all that I have achieved since my divorce.
by Genie   2 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 7:36 PM

like a complete fool that I ever trusted someone they way I have trusted him.
by veryclueless   57 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 6:53 PM

Reflect.  The possibility of divorce has made me look at myself in a way that I have not done in many years.  It has made me look inside for what I want and not what others expect from me.  Reflection has allowed me to take a good long look at my marriage and how I took it for granted.
The decisions that I make may not be popular with a lot of people, including my family, but the decisions that I make must be right for me.  They must be right in my heart.
Reflecting on what is important to me and what I am capable of doing-on my own, will help me to do what is right in my heart so I will not have regrets later.
by JHL   24 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 3:37 PM

Learn to accept the things I couldn't change, and change those things in my own life that I could.  I think everyday about the what "ifs", but then think about all the hurt, anger, and disappointments, which make me realise my life is getting better without all that (We've) put ourselves through during the trials and tribulations of having a significant other to rely on at times.  Love is Unconditional, but what happens to that "Love" when it becomes "Conditional" by walking down the isle, and taking our "Vows" seriously for just that 1 day of excitement that ends after merely 6 months to 1 year.  Live and Learn from the mistakes of others, and your own, and you will be much further ahead of the game of life when you can learn to adjust and accept change.  Change is GOOD for us all.  Smile and the rest of the world will smile with you. I've had my lites turn off, but learned to read by Candle lite, I've had my heat turned off, but learned to wear more clothes, I've had my cable shut off, but learned to stay in on weekends and watch more movies.  Life isn't so bad if you can figure out ways to over come the existance of negative actions of others.  Make yours a positive one when you can.  Live and Lead by example and quite possibly others will follow.
by steve1067   3 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 3:15 PM

Divorce has made me give up on so many dreams, but it has also given me new goals and dreams. The ability to succeed and live on my own has given me a new respect and outlook toward myself. And for the first time ever I feel truly independent without the disapointment of relying on someone else whoyou know will eventual let you down.
by Kimber   5 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 1:24 PM

Divorce has made me miserable. I have been with my husband for 13 years.  I havetried to keep this marriage alive for the last 3.  He has cheated, gotten addicted to drugs, treated me unfairly and without respect. At the same time, he expected me to treat him with respect, cater to his wants, desires and needs (mental, physical, emotional) and overlook or forgive all of his misdeeds.  The sad thing is that is exactly what I did. I took our vows seriously, but apparently he didn't. We have both changed and neither for the better.  I have become jaded and negative about everything. I have been battling with depression and weight gain. I have been busting my hump working 2 jobs (1 full time and 1 part time) to keep from losing our house, having the lights turned off....etc. and I have nothing to show for it. Not even the love of a husband. The even sadder thing is that I do not want a divorce but he does. I get angry when I think about what I have been dealing with for the last 3 years. Then he calls and when I hear his voice, I melt. I cannot deny him anything! How do make myself face reality and move on?
by endthesuffering   6 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 1:17 PM

lost & empty
by wend   7 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 12:54 PM

Divorce has made me....question all of my decisions.
by mikem   286 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 10:10 AM

Divorce has made me realize the importance of SELECTING a partner not SETTLING for a partner which is what I did. I picked him because he was good looking. I overlooked that fact that he was verbally mean, didn't hold a job for very long, had many periods of unemployement, lied about being married 3 times before me, lied about having 3 children with 3 different women (I only thought he had 1) not that it mattered but it was the lying I resented. I turned a blind eye to everything and in the end I am divorced now and asking myself still, Why did I waste 25 years. I may never know the whys and I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is what I do from this day forward. I know that yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery so I try to keep that in mind when I look in the past because I know in my heart there is nothing there.
by Linny   152 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 9:44 AM

Divorce has made me a victim of the world. I was a good wife, and mother for over 17 years, dedicating my life to keeping everyone happy, fed, and living in a comfortable home, and taking care of needs for everyone but myself. After three deaths in my family, in lesss than a year, including my desr Mother, and best friend, I was taken advatange of and now have no-one or nothing. Life is not always fair, but I feel so used nd abused and taken advantage of. Its hard to accept, and I dont know where or what to do to stand up for myself. I have nothing. Any suggestions. ??? I need somebody to care, and understand hwat Ive been through, and help if you can with advice , and or legal help. Thanks.
by pscott   6 Posts
Posted on 3/21/2008 9:26 AM

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 14 Real Life Ways To Save Money
Do Divorce And Money Mix?

2. You Just Found Out They Cheated, Now What?
8 Things You May Not Know About Cheating

3. African-Americans and Marriage
African-Americans are Less Likely to Marry and More Likely to Divorce, Studies Show

4. 3 Tips for Taxes in Tough Times
Taxes: Married, Separated or Divorced, 3 Tax Tips to Help in Any Situation

5. Dr. Romance: Boundaries with your Ex
Tips to Help if your Ex is Doing Things that Make You Feel Used, Resentful